Mint Jokes / Recent Jokes
I've had a slight accident with your sleigh, Father Christmas! Father Christmas: Oh no! That sleigh was in mint condition! That's all right....now it's a mint with a hole!
Ive had a slight accident with your sleigh, Father Christmas! Father Christmas: Oh no! That sleigh was in mint condition! Thats all right.... now its a mint with a hole!
Calls For Tragic Death Of Streisand
With sales of Princess Di memorabilia falling off sharply after a record
1997, collectible-plate-industry leaders Monday called for the tragic
death of beloved entertainer Barbra Streisand.
"For the 1998 Christmas season to be anywhere near as successful as last
year's, we need a heartbreaking, untimely end to a wonderful life that we
can commemorate with a series of limited-edition collector's plates," said
Franklin Mint president Jim Campion, who joined representatives from the
Bradford Exchange and Danbury Mint in a unified call for Streisand's
tragic demise. "The death of Barbra Streisand, with her upscale, intensely
devoted following, would be ideal."
Economists say the unexpected death of a star of Streisand's magnitude
would translate to a 70 percent sales boost for the $1 billion
collectible-plate industry.
"A Streisand death would probably outsell all other more...
PRESS RELEASE
Microsoft Corporation today announced plans to buy the Philadelphia Mint from the United States government. Final details of the transaction were hammered out in an all night bargaining session which included President Bill Clinton representing the US, and four unnamed chorus girls. An obviously fatigued and smiling Clinton emerged from the meeting and stated that he saw no chance that there would be opposition from anyone within the government. In an effort to appease regulators, Microsoft gave a copy of Windows NT and a box of paper clips to Novell.
Microsoft said it intends to print money in direct competition with the US Government. Microsoft chairman, Bill Gates, declared, "The Government has no vision and we intend to eventually take over all operations." The official announcement was made by Microsoft spokesman, Brad Silverberg, who showed reporters an alpha version of the currency Microsoft will release next year. The currency, called simply more...
Microsoft Corporation today announced plans to buy the
Philadelphia Mint from the United States government. Final
details of the transaction were hammered out in an all night
bargaining session which included President Bill Clinton
representing the US, and four unnamed chorus girls. An obviously
fatigued and smiling
Clinton emerged from the meeting and stated that he saw no
chance that there would be opposition from anyone within the
government. In an effort to appease regulators, Microsoft
gave a copy of Windows NT and a box of paper clips to Novell.
Microsoft said it intends to print money in direct competition
with the US Government. Microsoft chairman, Bill Gates, declared,
"The Government has no vision and we intend to eventually take
over all operations." The official announcement was made by
Microsoft spokesman, Brad Silverberg, who showed reporters an
alpha version of the currency Microsoft will release next more...
How To Shower Like a Woman
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long bathrobe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental note to do
more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs
12. Turn off more...