Minute Jokes / Recent Jokes
Santa calls a call center of air sahara to know the journey time of delhi to bombay. When his call gets connected, he asks "sir, how much time will your plane take from delhi to bombay? Officer says "just a minute sir' santa says thankyou very much and disconnects the call.
An old fraternity brother told us about a gag an undergrad girlfriend of his pulled off last semester: She disguised herself as a boy, joined TKE and the authorities never found out about it.
"Wait a minute," we objected. "If this girl joined a fraternity, she would have had to dress with the guys and shower with them."
"Sure."
"Well then, someone must have discovered she was a girl!"
"Probably," said our friend, downing his drink. "But who'd tell?"
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into alumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office andsaid, "We need some four-by-twos."The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meanttwo-by-fours.""All right. How long do you need them?"The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better gocheck."After a while, the customer returned to the office and said,"A long time. We're gonna build a house."
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!"
He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked, eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.
Finally, the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."
With that, the jury retired to deliberate. But after only a few minutes, they came back and more...
There is a new commander of a base of the French Foreign Legion,
and the captain is showing him around all the buildings. After he has
made the rounds the commander looks at the captain and says,
"Wait a minute. You haven't shown me that small blue building
over there. What's that used for?"
The captain says, "Well sir, you see that there are no women
around.Whenever the men feel the need of a woman, they go there and use
the camel." "Enough!" says the commander in disgust.
Well, two weeks later, the commander himself starts to feel in need of a
woman. He goes to the captain and says,
"Tell me something, Captain." Lowering his voice and glancing
around, he asks, "Is the camel free anytime soon?"
The captain says, "Well, let me see." He opens up his book. "Why, yes, sir, the
camel is free tomorrow afternoon at two o'clock."
The commander says, "Put me down more...
The following is an old anecdote, but a good one. Sometime in the early 1900's,
P. T. Barnum, the owner of the Barnum & Bailey circus and originator of the
phrase "There's a sucker born every minute" offered $10,000 in cash to any person
who could thoroughly dupe, or sucker, him.
Barnum was always looking for interesting new acts or novel creatures to
exhibit, and one day he received a letter from a fellow in Maine who claimed
to possess a cherry-colored cat and asked if Barnum were interested in such
a thing for his circus. Barnum contacted the man and said yes, if the cat were
truly cherry-colored, he'd gladly put it on display. Well, a few days later
a crate marked "live animal" arrived for him. When Barnum opened it, he found
a somewhat frightened but otherwise perfectly ordinary-looking black housecat
inside, along with a note which read:
Maine cherries are black.
There's a sucker born every more...
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. Nurses are known to be hot to trot". The second man married a telephone operator. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,"Wow, he's a lucky one. Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top button...Va-voom.". The third man married a school teacher. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty but teachers are just too frigid". The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two would call much later in the day. At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The more...