Mistake Jokes / Recent Jokes
An engineer dies, and, instead of going to heaven, as he is slated to do, he winds up in hell. About a week later, God calls Satan up to talk.
"I hear there's been some kind of mistake," God says. "You need to send the engineer back."
"I don't think it's a mistake," says Satan. "In one week, everything is working better. We've even got air conditioning."
"Look, it isn't meant to be. Don't make me sue you..."
"Sue me?" says Satan to God. "And where do you think you are going to get a lawyer?"
A new business was opening, and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site, and the owner read the card, which said, "Rest in Peace."The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.After he told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking place, and they have flowers with a note saying,' Congratulations on your new location.'"
A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven.
St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort of mistake. "I'm much too young to die! I'm only 35!"
St. Peter agreed that 35 did seem to be a bit young to be entering the pearly gates, and agreed to check on his case.
After investigating, he told the attorney, "I'm afraid that there is no mistake my son...
We verified your age on the basis of the number of hours you've billed to your clients, and according to that, you're at least 108 years old!"
A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven.St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort of mistake. "I'm much too young to die! I'm only 35!"St. Peter agreed that 35 did seem to be a bit young to be entering the pearly gates, and agreed to check on his case.After investigating, he told the attorney, "I'm afraid that their is no mistake my son...We verified your age on the basis of the number of hours you've billed to your clients, and you're at least 108 years old!"
These are the nominees for the Chevy Nova Award. This is given in honor of the GM's fiasco in trying to market this car in Central and South America. "No va" means, in Spanish, "No go."1. The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read "Are you lactating?"2. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious adult magazine.3. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato" (la papa).4. Pepsi's "Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave" in Chinese.5. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Kekoukela", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" more...
A new business was opening, and one of the owner`s friends sent flowers for the occasion. But when the owner read the card with the flowers, it said. "Rest in Peace"
The owner was little upset and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist about the obvious mistake, the florist said, "Sir, I`m really sorry for the mistake, but rater than getting angry, you should imagine this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on you new location."