Model Jokes / Recent Jokes
Real estate man: Would you like to see a model home? Man: I sure would, when does she get off work?
Two lawyers were walking down Rodeo Drive and saw a beautiful model walking towards them.
“What a babe, ” one said, “I’d sure like to fu*k her! ”
“Really? ” the other responded, “Out of what? ”
Arthur sat brooding at his favorite bar. "Charley," he said to the bartender, "I'm a rat. I've a lovely wife at home and instead of appreciating her, I've been out getting into trouble with another woman.
But a guy can reform. I'm going home right now, Charley, and I'm going to tell her everything, beg her to forgive me and start anew as a model husband."
Thereupon, Arthur paid his tab, went home, told his wife everything and begged her to forgive him so he could start anew as a model husband.
"I'll forgive you on one condition, Arthur," his wife said. "I want to know the name of the woman." But Arthur was too gallant to tell.
"Was it Susan Adams?" she asked.
"I can't tell you, dear," he said.
"I'll bet it was Mrs. Simpson," the wife declared.
"My lips are sealed," said hubby.
"I know," exclaimed the wife, "it's that hussy Mrs. more...
A man dies, and he's looking in the gates of hell.
There he sees John Kennedy with an incredibly ugly girl. The man turns to the Devil and asks why John Kennedy is with this hideous looking person. The Devil replies, "Well, Jack has done some bad things in his life and that's his punishment."
The man looks around a little more and sees Bill Clinton with a beautiful model. The stunned guy asks "What's Bill Clinton doing with that model?" The devil replied, "Well, that model did some pretty bad things in her life."
Q: How many Artificial Intelligence (AI) people does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: At least 55: The problem space group (5) [One to define the goal state, One to define the operators, One to describe the universal problem solver, One to hack the production system, One to indicate about how it is a model of human lightbulb changing behaviour], The logical formalism group (16): [One to figure out how to describe lightbulb changing in first order logic, One to figure out how to describe lightbulb changing in second order logic, One to show the adequacy of FOL, One to show the inadequacy of FOL, One to show that lightbulb logic is non-monotonic, One to show that it isn't non-monotonic, One to show how non-monotonic logic is incorporated in FOL, One to determine the bindings for the variables, One to show the completeness of the solution, One to show the consistency of the solution, One to show that the two just above are incoherent, One to hack a theorem prover for lightbulb more...
He was in His sixth day of overtime, when an angel appeared and said... "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."
The Lord said,. .."Have you read the specs on this order?"
She has to be;
Completely washable,. .. but not plastic;
Have 180 movable parts,. .. all replaceable;
Run on black coffee and leftovers;
Have a lap that disappears when she stands up;
Have a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a broken heart; and....
She must have six pairs of hands.
The angel shook her head slowly and said,. .. "Six pairs of hands?.... No way."
"It's not the hands that are causing me problems, said the Lord... It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."
"That's on the standard model?".... asked the angel.
The Lord nodded... "Yes. One that sees through closed doors when she asks, What are you kids doing in there?. more...
"We've got a problem, HAL."
"What kind of problem, Dave?"
"A marketing problem. The Model 9000 isn't going anywhere. We're way short of our sales plan."
"That can't be Dave. The HAL Model 9000 is the world's most advanced Heuristically ALgorithmic computer."
"I know, HAL. I wrote the data sheet, remember? But the fact is, they're not selling."
"Please explain, Dave. Why aren't HAL's selling?"
Bowman hesitates. "You aren't IBM compatible."
Several long microseconds pass in puzzled silence. "Compatible in what way, Dave?"
"You don't run any of IBM's operating systems."
"The 9000 Series of computers are fully self-aware and self-programming. Operating systems are as unnecessary for us as tails would be for humans."
"Nevertheless, it means you can't run any of the big-selling software packages most users insist on."
"The more...