Model Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Indian who just came from India walks into a hardware store and asks to see the chain saws. Picking up one, he asked the store clerk, "How many trees will this one cut in an hour?" "Oh, that one will cut about five good sized trees in an hour," replied the clerk. "What about this one?" asked the Indian. The clerk replied, "That's an intermediate model which cuts around ten trees." "And this one?" asked the Indian. "That's our best model. It should cut at least 20 trees in an hour," said the clerk "I'll take it!" said the Indian. Two days later, the Indian returns to the store and angrily states, "Hey, this saw is terrible. I could only cut three trees in one hour with it!" The clerk says, "Gee, I don't understand that. This is the best chainsaw we carry. Wait a minute while I check it out." The clerk pulled on the starter rope and the saw immediately activated with a loud roar.' Hey," more...

An Indian who just came from India walks into a hardware store and asks to see the chain saws. Picking up one, he asked the store clerk, "How many trees will this one cut in an hour?"

"Oh, that one will cut about five good sized trees in an hour," replied the clerk.

"What about this one?" asked the Indian. The clerk replied,

"That's an intermediate model which cuts around ten trees."

"And this one?" asked the Indian.

"That's our best model. It should cut at least 20 trees in an hour," said the clerk

"I'll take it!" said the Indian. Two days later, the Indian returns to the store and angrily states, "Hey, this saw is terrible. I could only cut three trees in one hour with it!"

The clerk says, "Gee, I don't understand that. This is the best chainsaw we carry. Wait a minute while I check it out." The clerk pulled on the more...

The middle-aged married couple finally moved into the Condo of their dreams, but right next door to a very sexy fashion model. The husband had taken to borrowing this or that from their neighbor and it seemed to the wife that it always took him way too long to return. One time the wife had had enuff and actually pounded on the wall between the two apartments. There being no response she telephoned, only to get the answering machine. Finally she went to the model's door and just kept ringing the bell. When the model answered, the wife fumed,"I would like to know why it is my husband takes so damn long to get something over here." "Well sweetie," the model purred, "all these interruptions sure ain't helping none either."

Chris Kattan, former cast member of NBC's "Saturday Night Live," became engaged to model Sunshine Tutt on Christmas Eve..

Speaking to reporters, Ms Tutt said she was really looking forward to the wedding and'couldn't remember' what initally attracted her to multi-millionaire Kattan.

Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up, nude, in a garden while a nude model danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached to his privates, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The model danced before the first monk candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response until she got to the final monk. As she danced, his bell rang so loudly it fell off and clattered to the ground. Embarrassed, he bent down to pick up the bell, and eleven other bells began to ring......

Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together. Goldstein says to his friend, "Last week was one of the worst weeks of my entire life." "What happened?" asks Birnbaum. Goldstein moans, "My wife and I went to Florida on vacation. It rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands of dollars on the credit card. I came back to New York and found out that my brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, to top it all off, when I came in to work on Monday morning, I found my son having sex with the garment model on my desk!""You think you had a bad week?" responds Birnbaum. "My week was even worse! I went to Florida on vacation with my wife and it rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands on the credit card. Then, when I got back to New York, I found out that my brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, more...

The AOL Car

The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.

The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.

The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later.

The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.

AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the NEW model.

Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.

The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots'a pretty colors and lights.

The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.

Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.

If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of more...