Model Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ok, I'm going to get a lot of hate mail for this one...What's the definition of the perfect woman? She's three feet tall, has a round hole for a mouth, and her head is flat so you can put a can on it. The sports model has pull back ears and her teeth fold in. The economy model fucks all night and at midnight turns into a roast beef sandwich and a six pack.

Q: Why does Hillary think her husband is a model president?
A: Because a model is a small imitation of the real thing.

Y2K turns cars into carriagesSometimes true life is more humorous than the jokes that are passed around and around. The following is an excerpt from an Associated Press article by David Sharp, that appeared in The Ithaca Journal yesterday, October 16, 1999. Y2K turns cars into carriages.
PORTLAND, Maine - State government got its first Y2K surprise months early when owners of 2000 model cars and trucks received titles identifying their new vehicles as "horseless carriages".
Despite millions of dollars spent to ensure state computers are ready for the year 2000, computers in the secretary of state's office got confused over the 2000 model year designation.
As a result, some new vehicle owners or lien holders got titles to "horseless carriages" instead of cars or trucks in April. The case demonstrates the problems that can occur when computers misread the year 2000 as the year 1900, which is what happened in the secretary of state's office.
Since more...

After 10 years of marriage, Sue was becoming more and more frustrated. Her husband Peter worked very long hours and was no longer interested in bonking. Plucking up her courage, and with a few stiff drinks, Sue visited a sex shop.

"Hello," said Sue. "Look, I'm very embarrassed about this. My husband doesn't make love to me. You sell' Sex Dolls' for men - I'm here because I'm interested in buying, well, a Sex Doll. You know. .. one with a Dick - for me."

The shop assistant was taken aback. In front of him was a lady - about 25 years old - with a 36 DD bust. .. And a figure he would have crawled over a kilometre of broken glass to buy a coffee for.

"Well Miss - or Madam." He took another breath. "Frankly, we don't get much call for that sort of thing. However, we do have three models in the back room."

Hand on her chin, Sue looked him directly in the eye and smiled. "Don't just stand there - tell me more...

An astronomer on an extended lecture tour became weary of delivering the
same lecture night after night. He confided this state of mind to his
chauffeur as they were driving to their next destination. The chauffeur
expressed a similar boredom in his line of work.
"I've got it!" said the astronomer. "You are bored with driving and I am
weary of lecturing. Let's exchange places for one night. It will be a
refreshing change for both of us. My lecture is all written out word for word
and nobody in the next town knows me by sight anyway." The driver agreed and
the exchange of roles and dress was made. That night the lecture hall filled
to capacity. At the appointed time those in attendance heard a flawlessly
delivered lecture. At its conclusion the lecturer basked in the euphoric
applause. Then came the question and answer period.
"Who discovered Uranus?" came from a boy in the front.
"Uh...William more...

An astronomer on an extended lecture tour became weary of delivering the same lecture night after night. He confided this state of mind to his chauffeur as they were driving to their next destination. The chauffeur expressed a similar boredom in his line of work.
"I've got it!" said the astronomer. "You are bored with driving and I'm weary of lecturing. Let's exchange places for one night. It will be a refreshing change for both of us. My lecture is all written out word for word and nobody in the next town knows me by sight anyway."
The driver agreed and the exchange of roles and dress was made. That night the lecture hall filled to capacity. At the appointed time those in attendance heard a flawlessly delivered lecture. At its conclusion the lecturer basked in the euphoric applause. Then came the question and answer period.
"Who discovered Uranus?" came from a boy in the front.
"Uh... William Herschel." He remembered that from more...

The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms, and kissed her. She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said, "but I'm not that kind!" "Actually, I've never tried to kiss a model before," he protested. "Really?" she said, softening. "Well, how many models have there been?" "Four so far," he replied, thinking back. "A jug, two apples and a vase."