Moms Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sarah Palin compared hockey moms to pit bulls, saying the difference is that "one wears lipstick". While hockey moms may wear lipstick, pit bulls rarely let their offspring get pounded without some protection.

your mom is so fat that i seen her on channel 3 and i went to channel 54 and her but was still sticking out. Your mom is so stupid that she thought a Quarterback (QB) was a refund. your moms teeth are so yellow she could butter a whole loaf of bread. your moms so fat people jog around her for exercise.

Following are answers given by elementary school-age children to the given questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the Scotch Tape is.
2. Think about it. It was the best way to get more people.
3. Mostly to clean the house.
4. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic, plus super powers, and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We are related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I more...

YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET

There were 3 girls in high school, they were all best friends and they're moms were all best friends as well, one mom was blonde, one mom was brunette, and the other had black hair.

So one night, the moms are all sitting around talking, and the Brunette says,' 'I found a cigarette butt in my daughters trash can, I can't believe she smokes.''

The mom with Black Hair looks over and says,' 'Well, I found a beer bottle in my daughters trashcan I can't believe she drinks.''

Then the blonde thinks for a moment and says,' 'I found a condom in my daughters bed, I can't believe she has a dick.''