Mona Jokes / Recent Jokes

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to
celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,
"Ladies
and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have
ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.
Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to
land on the beach.
However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to
live
on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the
island.
An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our
Rs
5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?"
"No, sweetheart," she responds.
Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we
pay
our ICICI Bank Master card yet?"
"Oh no! I`m more...

Nikhil and Mona were newlyweds. Nikhil thought this would be a modern marriage, meaning they would each play equal roles. So, the first morning after their honeymoon, he brought Mona breakfast in bed.
However, Mona wasn't at all impressed by his culinary skills. Looking disdainfully at the tray, she snorted, "A poached egg? I wanted scrambled!"
Undaunted, the following morning, Nikhil brought his new bride a scrambled egg.
Unfortunately, Mona wasn't satisfied. "Did you ever stop to think that perhaps I like variety?" she snapped. "I wanted poached this morning!"
Determined to please her, the next morning, he brought her two eggs….one poached and one scrambled.
"Here, my darling, enjoy," he said cheerfully.
Mona was infuriated. "You scrambled the wrong egg!" she screamed.

Using a laser scanner French scientist believe that the kitten-ish Vixen Mona Lisa, may have been "with child" at the time she sat for the "rockstar" painter Leonardo De Vinci...Oh that Leo, always creating.
Still more amazing was that the scientist were even able to get the laser function to work on their "All In One" copy machine.

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: "I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"

BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that more...

Scene: Ajeet thouroughly disgusted with Mona daaa.. arrling's typing.
Ajeet: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Raabert: Magar kyoon baas?
Ajeet: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.

Throughout the centuries, mothers have been given their children plenty of good advice and notable quotes. Here`s just a small humorous sampling:PAUL REVERE`S MOTHER: "I don`t care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"MARY,MARY, QUITE CONTRARY`S MOTHER: "I don`t mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"MONA LISA`S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that`s the biggest smile you can give us?"HUMPTY DUMPTY`S MOTHER: "Humpty, If I`ve told you once, I`ve told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"COLUMBUS`S MOTHER: "I don`t care what you`ve discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"BABE RUTH`S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit playing ball in the house! That`s the third broken window this week!"MICHELANGELO`S MOTHER: "Mike, can`t you paint on more...

Raj: Mona has lovely long red hair all down her back.
Ajay: Pity it's not on her head!