Monsignor Jokes / Recent Jokes

During his first mass, a new priest was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass, he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I'm concerned about being nervous on the pulpit, I place a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I begin to get nervous, I take a sip."
The following Sunday, the new priest took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon returning to his office after mass, he found a note on his door:
Sip the vodka. Don't gulp it.
There are 10 Commandments, not 12
There are 12 Disciples, not 10.
Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
We do not refer to Jesus as the late J.C.
The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and Spook.
David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his more...

A new priest at his frist mass was so nervous he could heardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.

If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So the next Sunday the priest took the monsignors advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office he found the following note on the door.

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not get his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ and his apostles as J. C. and the boys.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.
8. David more...