Monster Jokes / Recent Jokes
FIRST MONSTER: Am I late for dinner? SECOND MONSTER: Yes, everyones been eaten.
An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred feet into the air. The monster then opened its mouth while waiting below to swallow man and boat.
As the man sailed head over heels and started to fall towards the open jaws of the ferocious beast he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"
Suddenly, the scene froze in place. As the atheist hung in midair, a booming voice came out of the clouds and said, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"
"God, come on, give me a break!" the man pleaded, "Just seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"
"Well," said God, "now that you are a believer you must understand that I won't work miracles to snatch you from certain death in the jaws of the monster, but I can change hearts. What would you have me more...
Whats pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster?- Grandma monster
Little monster: Mom, Ive finished. Can I leave the table? Mommy monster: Yes, Ill save it for your supper.
It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois.(Dumb Laws - Illinois)
Why was the monster sitting in his Easter basket? He was trying to hatch his peanut butter eggs!