Monster Jokes / Recent Jokes

What kind of book did Frankensteins monster like to read? One with a cemetery plot.

What can a monster do that you cant do? Count up to 25 on his fingers.

There once was a kid that always called MONSTER! And one day he say a real Giant humongo MONSTER he called But Abselutly nobody believed him.

Monster: Ive got to walk 25 miles home. Ghost: Why dont you take a train. Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.

What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster? You can dip a biscuit in your tea, but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.

A Monster Went To A Restraunt To Have His Supper. The Waiter Asked Him: Should I Get You The Menu, Sir? The Monster Replied:
No, That Wont Be Necessary. Just Get Me The Passenger List!

Little Monster: I hate my teacher.
Mother Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear!

“What’s the matter with your dinner? ”
“Can you describe it for me please in case I need to tell my doctor later what I’ve eaten! ”

Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday.
Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else!

A math joke
Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?
Don’t tell me that they haven’t found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!

Teacher: What came after the stone age and the bronze age?
Pupil: The sausage!