Mood Jokes / Recent Jokes

When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.

Great things about being a bloke!!!
* Understanding football (any football!)
* A five day holiday requires one overnight bag
* Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat
* Queues for the bathroom don't exist
* You can open all your own jars
* When clicking through the channels you don't have to stall at every shot of someone crying
* All your orgasms are real
* You don't have to lug a bag of useless stuff around
* You can go to the bathroom without a support group
* When your work is criticised, you understand that everyone doesn't secretly hate you
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
* You never have to clean a toilet
* You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes
* You save time and money by washing up in bulk every third week
* Sex means never worrying about your reputation
* Wedding plans take care of themselves
* If someone forgets to invite you to something, it means that more...

There were these two rabbits, Barry and Fred. They were being tested in a laboratory and after a few losses of hair and half of their teeth missing they decide to try and escape.
They make this great plan and the next thing they knew, they were out in the counrtyside smelling the grass and generaly having a good time.
After a bit Barry gets in a bit of a mood.
"Why are you in such a mood" says Fred.
Barry in a sulky mood says "Well you know that laboratory we were at, well I'm starting to miss that place"
Fred in disbelief says "What, are you mad. That place is a dump. I've got more injection holes on my body than pores!"
"Yeah I know " says Barry "But I'm killing for a fag."

A couple agreed to have sex on the days beginning with T's in the week.That is Tuesdays and Thursday.So one saturday it rained heavily and the weather was so chilled.The couples were in the mood but they vowed not to have sex except days with T's at the beginning.The man looked at wife and said .hi darling is today THURSADAY? The wife looked at the husband and said yes, even i have been trying to say so .You are such a darling.They hit it right away because thursaday begins with T.The following day the woman also came from work and said to the husband, today is my thursunday.So THUR became the norm.Today is my thursaday means, today i am in the mood for sex.

The boss returned to the office after lunch and was in a great mood. He called all the staff into his office so he could tell them some jokes he had picked up. "Everyone laughed uproariously, except for one girl who didn't even crack a smile.
"What's with you, Judy," grumbled the boss. "Have you lost your sense of humor?"
Looking at him straightfaced, she replied, "I don't have to laugh. Friday's my last day!"

There were three little boys visiting their grandparents. The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, "Can you make a sound like a frog, Grandpappy? Grandpa (being in a kind of ill mood) responds, "No, I don't really want to make the sound of a frog now." So, the second little boy comes out and asks his grandfather, "Willyou please make a sound like a frog?" Grandpa again says, "No, not now. I don't really want to do that. I'm in a grumpy mood. Maybe later." Then the third little boy comes out and says, "Grandpa, oh please... Please, please will you make a sound like a frog?" "Why do all of you boys want me to make a sound like a frog?" Grandpa asked. The little boy replied with a hopeful face, "Well, Mom said that whenyou croak we get to go to Disney World!"

"I was in a very generous mood today," a woman says to her friend. "I gave a poor beggar $25." "Thats a lot of money to give away," says her friend. "What did your husband say?" "He said,' Thank you'. "