Motorcycle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Grumbling about the distance between campus buildings, a daughter wrote home to her father, who happened to be a veterinarian, asking for money to buy a second hand motorcycle.
By the time the money arrived, she had changed her mind and bought a monkey instead.
After several weeks, the monkey started losing its hair. Hoping her father would know how to cure it, she wrote him a letter. "Dad, please help. All the hair is falling off my monkey. What should I do?"
A couple of days later, she received a reply from her worried father. It read, "Sell the damn motorcycle!"

A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball." He replied, "Highway patrolmen don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left.

A REALLY Bad Day

So you think you're having a bad day. The following is taken from a Florida newspaper:

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house.

The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying next to him and the patio door shattered. The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance.

Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of long steps to the street to direct the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the wife uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing more...

A rabbit and a bear were walking thru the woods when they saw a magic lamp. They ran up to it and the genie came out.
"I'll grant u 3 wishes each for freeing me. The bear can start," said the genie
"I wish every bear in the entire forest, except me, was a female!" said the bear.
"Wish granted," said the genie. And then the rabbit took his turn.
"I wish I had a motorcycle that could go faster then anything in the world" said the rabbit.
"Wish granted," said the genie. And a shiny new motorcycle stood in front of the rabbit.
"Ok," said the bear, "I wish every bear in the country, except for me, was a female!

Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until, one day,
he comes across a beautiful Honda Gold Wing with a for sale sign on it for just $20.
The bike seems even more beautiful than a new one, although it is 10 years
old.
It is shiny and in absolutely mint condition. He immediately buys it, and
asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is
outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it
from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.
Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house,
Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family
before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first
person who says anything during dinner has to more...

A guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads in the newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about it with the owner."This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape.

"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.

The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a Harley fan).

That night, he decides to ride the bike over more...

There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping around, answering ads in the newspaper, and not having much luck. One day he comes across a beautiful classic harley with a "for sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about it with the owner: "This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape."
"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of vaseline.
So the guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a harley fan). That night, he decides to ride the more...