Motorist Jokes / Recent Jokes
The day a policeman stopped a motorist who had just gone through a four way stop sign and was about to give him a ticket when the motorist said. “Officer you can’t give me a ticket for that! ’ “Why not” said the officer. “Because although I did not stop I slowed right down and its almost the same. ” “But you did not stop” replied the officer, “and the sign says STOP. ” “But the way was clear and it was safe” replied the motorist. The officer then pulls out his batton and starts hitting the motorist. “What are you doing! ” yells the motorist in surprise. “Do you want me to slow down or stop” says the officer.
Motorist: When I bought this car you told me it was rust-free, but underneath its covered with rustDealer: Yes, sir. The car is rust-free. We didnt charge you for it, did we?
Fireworks stores may not sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents. Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk. You may not catch a fish with your hands. You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth. Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish. Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, but a hunting license is required to hunt on your own land. It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. However up to • 120 men can live together, without breaking the law.The state law of Pennsylvania prohibits singing in the bathtub.A special cleaning ordinance bans homemakers from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding. Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop more...
A hitchhiker was standing by the roadside near the law school with his thumb out. A motorist stopped and asked, "Are you a lawyer?" "No," the hitchhiker replied. The motorist drove off.
A few minutes later, a second motorist stopped and asked, "Are you a lawyer?" The hitchhiker again replied that he wasn't, so the second motorist drove off.
Finally a third motorist stopped and this time the driver was a voluptuous redhead. "Hi, are you a lawyer?" she asked. After telling her that he was, she told him to get in and off they drove.
After sitting and admiring the driver for a few minutes, the hitchhiker thought to himself, "This is incredible. I've only been a lawyer for five minutes and already I'm thinking about screwing someone!"
A San Francisco motorist following a taillight in a dense fog crashed into the car ahead of him when it stopped suddenly. "Why didn't you let me know you were going to stop?" he yelled into the mist. "Why should I?" came a voice out of the fog. "I'm in my own garage!"
A man was travelling from Cape Town to Johannesburg when he stopped for a young hitchhiker somewhere in the middle of the Karoo. It happened that the youngster had a cleft palate and thus spoke somewhat nasally. The motorist naturally felt very sorry for the young man.
After driving for an hour or so with very little conversation between them, the man pulled off for a roadside lunch. He opened his picnic basket and offered the youngster some of his sandwiches.
"Thank you, Thir, but becauth of my problem I cannot eat anything that may cauth crumbth to enter my palate," he replied. The man felt he could'nt eat either under the circumstances and opened his thermoflask of coffee.
"Would you like some coffee, son?" he asked. "Thank you, yeth Thir, but becauth of my problem you will have to help me. I cannot drink anything that will end up in my palate, tho have to take it anally by means of thith thpecial funnel."
The obliging motorist, feeling more...