Names Jokes / Recent Jokes

Microsoft files trademark infringement lawsuit
REDMOND, WA (APR. 27) BUSINESS WIRE - Microsoft Corp. announced today that they have filed a trademark infringement lawsuit against Kimberly-Clark Paper Company. The lawsuit claims that Kimberly-Clark has knowingly violated trademark laws in their introduction of Windows TP line of paper products.
The lawsuit names four separate products from Kimberly-Clark: The Windows TP Quilted for home use and the discerning business, The Windows TP Non-Quilted quality bargain brand for general business and office use, The Windows TP "Floppy" Roughness for extended shelf life, and the Windows TP "CD-ROM" Recycled Waterproof Roughness for schools and backpackers.
Kimberly-Clark has acknowledged the lawsuit. In a written statement to the press, a spokesperson for Kimberly-Clark said, "Our product and computer software are unrelated. While it may be said that both Microsoft's product and ours have similar uses, we more...

A judge in New Zealand has blocked parents from giving their
children names that make a fool of the child and sets them
with a social disability and handicap. The judge blocked some
names including "Fish and Chips", "Yeah Detroit",
"Keenan Got Lucy" and "Britney Spears."

Q: Why do Polish names end in "ski"? A: Because they cant spell tobbagan.

1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL" out loud.

3. You find yourself trying to cock your head 90 degrees when you smile.

4. You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.

5. You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out".

6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

7. If you are male and see a female in the "Real" world that you wish to meet, your first thought is to IM her.

8. If you are female and you see a male in the "Real" world that you wish to meet, your first thought is that you wish he'd IM you.

9. You don't understand the humor in the above mentioned #7 and #8 since the "real" world is at your fingertips.

10. You have to get a 2nd phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.

11. When you have sex, more...

# 1 In February 1878, the first telephone book was published in New Haven, Connecticut. The book was one page long and had fifty names in it.
# 2 For more than 3,000 years, Carpenter ants have been used to close wounds in India, Asia and South America.
# 3 In 2001, the five most valuable brand names in order were Coca-Cola, Microsoft, IBM, GE, and Nokia.
# 4 The Sears Tower in Chicago contains enough steel to build 50,000 automobiles.
# 5 Ninety-nine percent of pumpkins sold in the United States are for the sole purpose of decoration.
# 6 The Arctic Tern, which is a small bird, can fly a round trip from the Arctic to the Antarctic and back. This can be as long as twenty thousand miles per year. This is the longest migration for a bird.
# 7 Each year, Americans throw away 25 trillion Styrofoam cups.
# 8 The town with the most stop signs per capita than any other in the US: LaConner, Washington.# 152 # 9 The three wealthiest families in the world have more...

President Clinton was on his usuall jog for the day when he saw a little boy who had several puppies with him. The President asked him what their names where, the little boy said their names are DEMOCRATICS. The Pres. said oh what great namews for the puppies.
So the next day president Clinton went jogging with his duaghter Chelse so that she could see the puppies and when they came up to the little boy, the president told him to tell Chelse the puppies names; and the little boy replied thier names are REPUBLICANS.
Then the president said "you told me yesterday that thier were DEMOCRATICS", and the little said yeah that was yesterday when their eyers were closed, but today theire opened.

REDMOND, Washington-January 4, 1995-In response to customer
inquiries, Microsoft today clarified the naming policy for Bob(tm),
its new software product designed for computer beginners. Contrary
to rumors, Microsoft will not demand that all persons formerly named
"Bob" immediately select new first names.
"I don't know where these rumors come from," commented Steve
Balmer, Microsoft Executive Vice President for Worldwide Sales and
Support. "It's ridiculous to think Microsoft would force people
outside the computer industry to change their names. We won't, and
our licensing policies for people within the industry will be so
reasonable that the Justice Department could never question them."
Balmer said employees of other computer companies will be given the
opportunity to select new names, and will also be offered a
licensing option allowing them to continue using their former names
at very low more...