Nasty Jokes / Recent Jokes

A little boy and a pedophile are walking in the deep, dark, woods. The little boy says,
"Mister, I'm scared! These woods are really creepy."
The pedophile replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back all by myself."

Whats the definition of nasty: Strapping a bomb to a guys wheelchair and telling him to run for his life!

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? - 45 lbs. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? - 45 minutesLife stinks- I lent a guy ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now I don't know what he looks like! What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? - Sexual harassment. What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? $3. 99 a minute. How are women and rocks alike? You skip the flat ones. Did you hear about the new blonde paint? It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy! What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? Humpme Dumpme. Q. What does Bill say to Hillary after having Sex? A. "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."

This guys is sitting at the end of a bar. Each time someone comes in the door he says, rapidly,"Tickle your ass with a feather?" At which point they usually ask him what it was he said, and he then says, "Terribly nasty weather." They then go off looking confused. A drunk a few stools down observes this and finally says, "Say, buddy, I see what'cher doin'- you're putting people on! When somebody comes in the door you say, Tickle your ass with a feather, and when they say, What did you say to me? you say, terribly nasty weather." So the guy says to the drunk, "Yeah, it's fun putting people on. Come on down here and you do the next one that comes in." The drunk moves down to the end of the bar. In a few moments a person enters, and he says to her: "Stick a feather up your ass? She said,

Q: What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 lbs. Q: What is the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes. Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? A: Sexual harassment. Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? A: $ 3. 99 a minute.

Yo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow down. Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach. Yo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left. Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater. Yo mama so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh. Yo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection.

Your mama is so nasty, when you said, "Mama, what are we going to have for dinner?"
She stuck out her foot and said, "CORNS".