Nasty Jokes / Recent Jokes

Yo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow down.Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.Yo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left.Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leaveYo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.Yo mama so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh.Yo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection.

You're so nasty the only person that screws you is your cat, and that's only because your privates smell like fish.

Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV.

One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there.

The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left.

The next night, after he finished his fourth beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there.

The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.

The next night, after he finished his first beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach was standing there.

This time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big bug left.

The fourth night Frank didn't drink at all. The doorbell rang. The cockroach was standing there.

The bug beat the snot out of Frank and left him in more...

My brother used to be a police officer in Chicago. (He's now a rather
high-up muckity-muck in the police dept., but that's beside the point.)
He's told me some amusing anecdotes from Chicago police-work.
There was one story about people shoveling the snow for a parking space
in front their house. This apparently is a problem for the Chicago
police every winter. What happens is that somebody will park in a
nearby parking lot, then slave away for how ever many hours it takes to
shovel out a car-sized space in front of his house, naturally so he can
park his car there. Then he goes back to the lot to get his car.
When he returns home, he finds that the space has been taken by some
_other_ car. He is, well, upset.
What most people do is write nasty notes etc. and place them on the
windshield of the offending vehicle. Where the police get involved,
however, is the occasional case where the individual vents his wrath
in somewhat more more...

A pissed off wife was complaining about her husband spending all his time at the pub, so one night he took her along.
"What'll ya have?" he asked.
"Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied.
So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one go. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.
"Yuck, it's nasty poison!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!"
"Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"

Yo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow down.
Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.
Yo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left.
Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave.
Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.
Yo mama so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh.
Yo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection.

There was a young girl who lived up in the hills of Tennessee. She was about to turn sixteen, and couldn't wait to get her driver's liscense.
She had been subjected to much ribbing from her older brother, telling her that she was too dumb to get her liscense.
When the big day came around, she passed the test with flying colors.
She rushed home and asked her father if she could use the car that night so she and her friend could go in to town where all the cool kids were at.
The father said, "Sure honey, but you'll have to give me a blow-job first."
Wanting to go to town real bad, she agreed.
As she went down on her father, she suddenly jumped up an said "Dad your dick tastes like shit"
Oh yea, her father replied, "I forgot, your brother's got the car tonight."