Nasty Jokes / Recent Jokes

Show up totally smashed. Be as obnoxious and unruly as possible.
When the priest says his little "If anyone know any reason..." ditty, say, "Look at him! Look at her! These people should not reproduce!" or rattle off every mean, nasty thing the ex ever did to you, including that time when he went to see "Jesus Christ Superstar" with his mother on the night of your anniversary.
Send hookers. Laugh incessantly during the ceremony, for no apparent reason. Trip the bride on the way up. Wrestling, anyone? Two words: bomb threat.
Have a nice heart-to-heart with the mother of the bride (or groom). What you say is up to you, and the more horrid the better.
Pretend you've been seeing the groom secretly. Claim you've had his love child and he looks just like him.
Say you've had an affair with the bride if you're female, and the groom if you're male.
Make a big production about how this is all killing you. Laugh at anyone who takes you more...

Show up totally smashed. Be as obnoxious and unruly as possible.When the priest says his little "If anyone know any reason..." ditty, say, "Look at him! Look at her! These people should not reproduce!" or rattle off every mean, nasty thing the ex ever did to you, including that time when he went to see "Jesus Christ Superstar" with his mother on the night of your anniversary.Send hookers. Laugh incessantly during the ceremony, for no apparent reason. Trip the bride on the way up. Wrestling, anyone? Two words: bomb threat.Have a nice heart-to-heart with the mother of the bride (or groom). What you say is up to you, and the more horrid the better.Pretend you've been seeing the groom secretly. Claim you've had his love child and he looks just like him.Say you've had an affair with the bride if you're female, and the groom if you're male.Make a big production about how this is all killing you. Laugh at anyone who takes you seriously.Silly string! or, better more...

ya momma so nasty, i ask her wat for dinner an she said her PUSSY

Why is it when a man talks nasty to a woman it's sexual harassment.
But when a woman talks nasty to a man it's $3.99 a minute.

Nasty Mommy Mommy Jokes
son: Mommy Mommy! why are you moaning?
mom: Shut up and keep licking.
son: Daddy, Daddy, what's a transvestite?
dad: Shut up and unhook my bra.
son: Mommy, Mommy, what's an orgasm?
mom: I don't know dear, ask your father.
daughter: Mommy, Mommy! Why don't I have a big thing like Daddy's between my legs?
mom: You will when you're older, dear!
son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't wanna be a daddy
mom: Shut up and get in bed.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I get pregnant?
mom: Of course not dear, you are only seven years old.
son: Daddy, Daddy what is incest?
dad: Shut up and suck.
son: Mommy! Mommy! What's oral sex?
mom: mmmrmmph mumble mumble mmhhh mmrph mmumble!
son: Mommy, Mommy! Why does Daddy's dick taste so bad?
mom: Shut up and give your sister another tampon.

POEM # 1
Roses are red, pickles are green
I love your legs and whats between

POEM # 2
I like your style
I like your class
but most of all i like your ass


POEM # 3
Im a cool girl, in a cool town
it takes a real mother fucker to put me down
kissing is a sport
fucking is a game
guys get all the pleasure
girls get all the pain

POEM # 4
The guy says i love you
you believe its true
9 months later,
he says the hell with you
the baby is a bastard
the mother is a whore
all this wouldnt have happened
if the rubber wouldnt have torn

POEM # 5
Sex is when a guys communication
enters a girls information
to increase the population
for a younger generation
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration

POEM # 6
Roses are red,
Violets are corney,
When i think of you
Ohh baby i get more...

Studly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekick areperched near the front door of the girls' dorm. Severalplain Janes walk by as the two converse.Then a Sharon Stone look-alike emerges from the dorm andsaunters past. Romeo turns, smiles, and - barely audibly- inquires, "Tickle your ass with a feather?"The young beauty - startled by what she thinks she heard- exclaims "What?!" Without missing a beat, Romeo repeats"Typical nasty weather?" "Oh," she demures, "yes," and goeson her way.More young lovelys walk by and the scene is repeated."Tickle your ass with a feather?" "What?" "Typical nasty weather?"Finally, Romeo delivers his line,"Tickle your ass with a feather?" and his prospect stops, smiles and invites him up to her room.Now the sidekick, alone, having paid close attention, decides to try this remarkable new technique. A likelyprospect comes near. The sidekick leers and blurts more...