Nasty Jokes / Recent Jokes
Yo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow down.
Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.
Yo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left.
Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave
Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.
Yo mama so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh.
Yo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? - 45 lbs. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? - 45 minutes
Life stinks- I lent a guy ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now I don't know what he looks like! What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? - Sexual harassment. What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? $
3.99 a minute.
How are women and rocks alike? You skip the flat ones.
Did you hear about the new blonde paint? It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy!
What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? Humpme Dumpme.
Q. What does Bill say to Hillary after having Sex? A. "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? - 45 lbs. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? - 45 minutesLife stinks- I lent a guy ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now I don't know what he looks like! What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? - Sexual harassment. What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? $3.99 a minute.How are women and rocks alike? You skip the flat ones.Did you hear about the new blonde paint? It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy! What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? Humpme Dumpme.Q. What does Bill say to Hillary after having Sex? A. "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
A Canadian walks into a bar and ordered a beer. The bartender replied, "Sorry, we don`t serve Canadians in this bar."
"But I`m really thirsty," the Canadian replied. "I`ll do anything for a beer!"
"Okay," says the bartender,"if you can do three things, I`ll get you a beer."
"First," says the bartender,"do you see that big guy standing by the door? 6`5", 275 pound ex-NFL linebacker who got thrown out of the league for being too mean and nasty? You gotta knock him out cold and drag him out of the bar. That`s number one."
"Number two. Back in the kitchen we got this Doberman Pinscher. He`s mean, he`s nasty, he`s vicious, he`s hungry, and he`s got a bad tooth. You gotta remove his bad tooth. That`s number two."
"Number three. Upstairs we got a 70-year-old, 300 pound hooker. You gotta screw her until she climaxes three times. That`s number more...
A man returns to the U. S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.
The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.
"This is your doctor. We've had the results back from your tests and we've found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!"
"Oh my gosh," cries the man. He's in a panic now. "What are you going to do, doctor?"
"Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread."
"Will that cure me?" asked the man hopefully.
The doctor replied, "Well no, but. .. it's the only food we can get under the door."
Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six-pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 4th beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach standing there. This time he was knee'd in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then he left.
The fourth night Frank didn't drink at all. The doorbell rang. The six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Frank and left him in a heap on the living room floor. The following day, Frank went to more...