Nasty Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q:What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q:What is the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment.
Q:What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: $ 3.99 a minute.
Q:What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 lbs.Q:What is the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes.Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? A: Sexual harassment.Q:What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? A: $ 3.99 a minute.
A newlywed couple was walking together, and needed to cross a busy street. They saw Officer Ed. He was controlling traffic, so he said to them in a sarcastic and nasty voice, "Oh, so you just want me to clear traffic so you snots can get across? Oh, sure, I'll do that!"
So the couple starts to thank him, when he says, "I don't know why you're walking on this nasty day, anyway! It's just about to rain!"
The couple looked up in the sky, but didn't see a cloud in sight. They decided not to say anything, and went across the walkway as Officer Ed stopped the traffic.
Although, sure enough, it started to rain as soon as they had crossed. It just so happens that the man and the woman were songwriters, and they wrote a classic Christmas tune.
Oh, don't you know it? It goes like this:
"Rude Officer Ed knows the rain, dear..."
Once there was a man who loved baked beans. He would eat up to 5 and sometimes 6 plates at a time, but that always be followed with smelly, loud, stinky gas.
One day he met a beautiful lady and decided to talk to her. They started seeing each other.
Since he did not want her to smell his nasty gas after eating beans, he made the sacrifice, and stopped eating them. One year later they were married.
On his birthday, the next year, he was coming home from work, when suddenly his car broke down.
He called his wife to tell her what had happened, and also to let her know that he would be home a little late. She said she understood, but to hurry, because she had a surprise for him.
On his way he saw a diner and smelled baked beans cooking inside. Since he had to walk 6 miles to get home, he figured that by the time he got there all the smelly gas would be gone.
He went in and ate 7 bowls of baked beans. On his way back home, he was farting nasty and more...
A young man was driving along in his van, and spotted an attractive woman, hitch-hiking. He stopped to pick her up. It is beyond me, how such things come about, but they ended up in the back of the van.
"Have you got a whip?" Asked the woman. He had not.
"Haven't you got anything you could use instead?" He thought for a while, went outside, and fetched the radio aerial. This proved quite adequate, and the had a good time.
A couple of weeks later, the man developed an nasty rash around his genitals. After scratching for a while, he eventually went to his doctor, who examined him, but was at a loss to account for it.
"Haven't you done anything, recently, which could have caused it?" He asked, whereupon, our hero told him, with some embarrassment, about his adventure with the hitch-hiker.
"In that case," said the doctor, "it's perfectly clear you have a nasty dose of van aerial disease!"
Your momma so nasty she charges $10 for sex, gives ya lice, when ya comeback to complain she says - "For $10 what do ya expect, lobster?