Native Jokes / Recent Jokes

Washington Native Americans
New York Very Tall People
Dallas Western-Style Laborers
L.A. Uninvited Guests
Minnesota Plundering Norsemen
Green Bay Meat Industry Workers.
San Francisco Precious Metal Enthusiasts
New Orleans Pretty Good People
Phoenix Male Finches
Miami Pelagic Percoid Food Fishes
Denver Untamed Beasts of Burden
Cincinnati Large Bangladeshi Carnivorous Mammals
Tampa Bay West Indies Freebooters
Detroit Large Carnivorous Cats
Chicago Securities-Traders-in-a-Declining-Market
Indianapolis Young Male Horses
New England Zealous Lovers of Country
Atlanta Hovering Birds of Prey
Philadelphia Largely Non-Hovering Birds of Prey
Seattle Oceanic Birds of Prey
Tampa Bay Ocean-Going Unlawful Salvage Personnel
Houston Liquid Fossil Fuel Devotees
(or taking a different interpretation of oilers) Wheel Rotation Perpetuators
LA Male Horned Largely-Mountain Faring Ruminants
NY Air-Fed Inertial more...

Offensive to native Alabamans (but, then again, it could be Arkansas, or Texas, or YOUR state)
Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help him take the wheels off. You've ever used lard in bed. You think potted meat on a saltine is a hors d'oeuvre. You think a six pack of beer and a bug zapper are quality entertainment. Less than half the cars you own run. Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to "kiss her ass." The primary color of your car is "BOND-O." Directions to your house include "turn off the paved road." You honest-to-God think that women are turned on by animal noises and tongue gestures. Your family tree doesn't fork. Your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan. You've ever hollered "rock the house, Bubba" during a piano recital. You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights. Your brother-in-law is more...

The Politically Correct National Football League would like to announce its name changes and schedules for the' 99 season:

The Washington Native Americans will host the New York Very Tall People on in week 5. Other key games include the Dallas Western-Style Laborers hosting the St. Louis Uninvited Guests, and the Minnesota Plundering Norsemen taking on the Green Bay Meat Industry Workers.

In Week 6, there are several key matchups, highlighted by the showdown between the San Francisco Precious Metal Enthusiasts and the New Orleans Pretty Good People. The Atlanta Birds of Prey will play host to the Philadelphia Birds of Prey, while the Seattle Birds of Prey will visit the Phoenix Male Finches.

The Monday night game will pit the Miami Pelagic Percoid Food Fishes against the Denver Untamed Beasts of Burden. The Cincinnati Large Bangladeshi Carnivorous Mammals will travel to Tampa Bay for a clash with the West Indies Free Booters later in Week 9. And the more...

It was election time and a politician decided to go out to the local reservation and try to get the Native American vote. They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear the speech. The politician had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was getting more and more excited. "I promise better education opportunities for Native Americans!"

The crowd went wild, shouting "Hoya! Hoya!" The politician was a bit puzzled by the native word, but was encouraged by their enthusiasm. "I promise gambling reforms to allow a Casino on the Reservation!"

"Hoya! Hoya!" cried the crowd, stomping their feet.

"I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for Native Americans!" The crowd reached a frenzied pitch shouting "Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!"

After the speech, the Politician was touring the Reservation, and saw a tremendous herd of cattle. Since he was raised on a ranch, and knew a bit about more...

An old Native American wanted a loan for $500. He approached his local banker. The banker pulled out the loan application, asking, "What are you going to do with the money?"
"Take jewelry to city and sell it," said the old man.
"What have you got for collateral?" queried the banker, going strictly by the book.
"Don't know of collateral."
"Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?"
"Yes, I have a 1949 Chevy pickup."
The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"
"Yes, I have a horse."
"How old is it?"
"I don't know; it has no teeth."
Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.
Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here's the money to pay loan," he said, handing the entire amount including interest.
"What are you more...

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.
The old explorer said, “Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I soiled myself. ”
The reporter said, “Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same. ”
The old explorer said, “No, not then - just now when I went ROARRRR! ”

A man goes to an exotic tropical island for a vacation. As the boat nears the
island, he notices the constant sound of drumming coming from the island. As he
gets off the boat, he asks the first native he sees how long the drumming will
go on.
The native casts about nervously and says, "Very bad when the drumming stops."
At the end of the day, the drumming is still going on and is starting to get on
his nerves. So, he asks another native when the drumming will stop.
The native looks as if he has just been reminded of something very unpleasant.
"Very bad when the drumming stops," he says, and hurries off.
After a couple of days with little sleep, our tourist is finally fed up, grabs
the nearest native, slams him up against a tree, and shouts, "What happens when
the drumming stops?!"
The scared native answers, "Bass solo."