Native Jokes / Recent Jokes
This joke is about Native Americans; no offense intended, hope none is taken.
Native American Indian legend has it that many years ago, before the domination of the White Man, there existed a tribe that lived in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. And in this tribe, the Chief had decided that the time had come for his only daughter, the beautiful Wild Honey, to marry.
Now in this tribe, selection of a mate for the daughter of a chief involved a kind of round-robin competition among the eligible braves to determine who was the bravest, the strongest, the best hunter and provider. From the preliminary rounds, two great contenders emerged - the fast and powerful Running Water, and the bold and handsome Falling Rocks.
The final event of the competition would decide the winner. Each brave was given exactly seven days to prepare the traditional BTFTLOOTGO - "bridal tepee for the Little One of the Great One." The winner would be the brave who built the better tepee more...
WORLD FAMOUS SOUTHERN TALK
BECOME A NATIVE SOUTHERNER
How to talk native SOUTHERN in one easy lesson
Aig - What a hen lays
Aints - He's got aints in his paints
Paints - What cha put on your laigs of a mornin
Arn - Ma's tard of arnin
Bag - He bagged her to marry him
Bobbed - A bobbed wire fence
Bresh - He had a bresh with the law, and the law won.
Bub - the light bub burned out
Cheer - What you set in
Crick - A small stream
Clum - He sure clum that tree fastern any' coon
Chiny - country over in Asia
Chuch duds - Sunday go-to-meetin clothes
Core - He got hisself a new Ford core
Cyow - Animal on Farm
Deppity - He helps out the shurf
Dribbed - He dribbed milk on his shirt
Dainz - Satidy night social
Ellum - A graceful tree
Fanger - What you put your rang more...
A Native American and his friend were in downtown New York City, walking near Times Square in Manhattan. It was during the noon lunch hour and the streets were filled with people. Cars were honking their horns, taxicabs were squealing around corners, sirens were wailing, and the sounds of the city were almost deafening. Suddenly, the Native American said, "I hear a cricket." His friend said, "What? You must be crazy. You couldn't possibly hear a cricket in all of this noise!" "No, I'm sure of it," the Native American said, "I heard a cricket." "That's crazy," said the friend. The Native American listened carefully for a moment, and then walked across the street to a big cement planter where some shrubs were growing. He looked into the bushes, beneath the branches, and sure enough, he located a small cricket. His friend was utterly amazed. "That's incredible," said his friend. "You must have super-human ears!" more...
Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Twelve. Four to form a Parliamentary study committee to decide how to solve the problem, one Francophone to complain that I didn't translate this joke into French, one Native Canadian to protest that the interests of Native Canadians have been overlooked, one woman from the National Action Committee On the Status Of Women to say that women have been underrepresented in the process, one to go over the border to the Niagara Falls Factory Outlet Mall and buy a new bulb and not pay duty on it on the way back, one to actually screw it in, one to collect taxes on the whole procedure so the government can afford it, one to buy a case of Molson for everybody to drink, and one to drop the puck.
A businessman boarded a flight and was lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman...... They exchange brief hellos and he noticed she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replied, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that Native Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"He coolly replied, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."
A Native American, who hung an eagle feather from her mortarboard at graduation, won't be getting a diploma.
Neither will the two African Americans who wore multicolored tribal cloth with their gowns at the Muskogee, OK High School graduation.
According to the school district in this redneck town immortalized by Merle Haggard, the kids broke the dress code and won't receive their diplomas and transcripts until they complete 25 days of summer school as punishment. The three students are asking the American Civil Liberties Union to help them sue.
Says Native American Danaj Battese Trudell, "I'm not going to be defined by the white man anymore."
Based on a story from AP.
A brief profile of men afflicted with "yellow fever" ORIGINS: Asiaphiles are typically found residing in major U. S. cities, although increasing numbers have been venturing overseas in their quest to "get an oree-enul woman". NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH: Intelligent, non-racist and socially-functional men who are free of fetishes and racial bias. CHARACTER TRAITS: - Poorly developed masculine identities, pathetically uncomfortable with themselves, inept at romance with women of their own race. - Resentment of white females' assertive, strong-willed personality traits (whether real or perceived). - Ignorant and narrow-minded, eager to adopt fallacious western media stereotypes of Asian women. - Desperate need to assume a dominant, father-like role in their relationships with women (ergo the similarity to pedophiles). - Exaggerated perception and objectification of Asian females (and sometimes little boys). - Uncanny ability to determine one's breast size and country of more...