Neighbour Jokes / Recent Jokes
One person from Utter Pradesh (UP) was in Mysore for about four years and his wife in Jaunpur (UP).
At the end of four years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.
His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this happened when our friend was in Mysore and his wife in Jaunpur.
He said it is common in UP that neighbours take care of the wife (good samaritans) when men are away.
The colleagues asked, "What name will you give to the son?"
To which he replied: "If it's the first neighbour who has taken care, then the name would be PAHLAJ.
If it's the second neighbour, then the name would be DWIVEDI, if it is the third neighbour then it would be TRIVEDI, if it is the fourth neighbour then it would be CHATURVEDI and if it's the fifth neighbour PANDEY.
After listening to this, questions followed and what if it is a mixture of more...
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbour to report that
her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description.
She said, "He is 36 years old, 183 cm high, has brown eyes, brown hair, an
athletic body, weighs 75 kg, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
The next-door neighbour protested, "Your husband is 57 years old, about 160 cm,
chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."
The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants him back?"
A MAN was hauled up in court for beating his neighbour. The magistrate demanded:' Did you beat up your neighbour?'
'Yes, Your Honour, he called me a Punjabi rascal.'
'So what?'
'Your Honour, if he had called you a Bengali or Madrasi rascal, or the type of rascal you really are, wouldn't you have beaten him up?'
A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. "This is a talking dog," he said. "And you can have him for five dollars."
The neighbour said, "Who do you think you're kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain't no such animal."
Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. "Please buy me, Sir," he pleaded. "This man is cruel. He never buys me a meal, never bathes me, never takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick dog in America. I performed before kings. I was in the army and was decorated ten times."
"Hey!" said the neighbour. "He can talk. Why do you want to sell him for just five dollars?"
"Because," said the seller, "I'm getting tired of all his lies."
A newly-employed villager was very weak in English. Once he asked his more educated neighbour to draft an application asking for casual leave for a day as he was down with fever.
The neighbour dictated the application in the following words: "Respected Sir - As I am suffering from fever, I may kindly be granted casual leave for today."
He kept a copy of this application for subsequent use. Later, on the eve of his sister's marriage, he wrote an application on his own. It read as follows: "Respected Sir -As I am suffering from my sister's marriage tomorrow, kindly grant me casual leave for the next two days."