Newbie Jokes

In the far reaches of the Canadian wilderness, a new arrival at the lumberjack camp was settling down for the night in the men's dormitory with the rest of the guys after his first day on the job. The lights were turned off and suddenly he hears one guy call out "Twenty three!"... there is a roar of laughter from all the beds around the room, and another guy calls out "Forty seven"... more laughter follows. This goes on for a few more minutes until finally everyone settles down and goes to sleep.
The next morning, the newbie asks one of the other lumberjacks what all the laughter and numbers was about. He is told that they have all been there for so long at this camp, that they know all the jokes, and that each one is merely given a number... so when it comes to joke telling after lights-out, it is just a simple case of saying the number of the joke that is being told.
So, that evening, after lights-out, the same thing happens.. "Eighteen!"... and more...

A new prisoner walking into prison for the first time was heading towards his cell, when someone called out' '15''. and quite a few men started laughing. The new prisoner thought to himself they aren't too smart I am older than 15, walking out on further someone called out' '24'' and place just went wild with all the guys laughing so hard.

So the prisoner walks on thinking these guys really don't know how old I am....when someone yelled out' '35'' and the place just went ballistic. Finally the prisoner made it too his cell and asked his new roomie what the calling of numbers meant.

''Well'' said the roomie' 'we have all been here so long, and have heard the same jokes so many times that we have just numbered the jokes.''

''Hmm mind if I give it a try?'' said the newbie.

Newbie steps up to the bars and yells' '27'' and it is quiet. newbie looks around and yells' '31'' and again quiet and finally he yells' '46'' and again quiet. newbie steps more...

If the Chief and a Newbie both jumped out of a burning building at the same time, which one would hit the net first?
The Chief, because the Newbie would have to stop and ask for directions.

Q: How many alt.newbie readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Me! Me too! Me too!

' Newbie computer user questions'

1. Compaq is considering changing the command' Press Any Key' to' Press Return Key' because of the many calls asking where the' Any' key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble- shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes by rolling them into a typewriter to type on them.

4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with xeroxed copies of the floppies.

5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and more...