Noah Jokes / Recent Jokes
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Noah!
Noah who?
Noah good place to eat? Knock Knock
Who's there!
Noah!
Noah who?
Noah yes - which is it? Knock Knock
Who's there!
Noah!
Noah who?
Noah Body knows the trouble I've seen! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Noah!
Noah who?
Noah don't know who you are either!
The following are letters from children to GOD.
If You give me a genie lamp like Alladin, I will give you anything you want, except my money or my chess set.
-Raphael
My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha.
-Danny
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
-Larry
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over.
-Sam
You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways.
-Dean
I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.
-Ruth M.
I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying.
-Elliott
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
-Nan
Of all the people who work for You I like Noah and David the best.
-Rob
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. more...
And the Lord spoke to Noah and said "In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed.
But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am commanding you to build an Ark." And in a flash of lightning, He delivered the specifications for an Ark, "Okay," said Noah, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints.
"Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You'd better have the Ark completed, or learn to swim for a very long time." Six months passed, the skies clouded up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark. "Noah!" shouted the Lord, "where is the Ark?"
"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the Ark more...
If God wanted Noah to build an ark in America today, it might go something like this:
And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: "In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build Me an Ark."
And in a flash of lightning he delivered the specifications for an Ark. "OK," said Noah, trembling in fear and fumbling with the blueprints.
"Six months, and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You'd better have my Ark completed, or learn how to swim for a very long time."
And six months passed. The skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall.
The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark. "Noah," shouted the Lord, "where is my Ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground next to more...
Here's a list of some cute letters kids have written to God: Dear GOD: Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have? - JaneDear GOD: Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. - LarryDear GOD: If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes. - MickeyDear GOD: I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. - NanDear GOD: In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? - JaneDear GOD: I read the Bible. What does "beget" mean? Nobody will tell me. - Love, AlisonDear GOD: Are You really invisible or is it just a trick? - LucyDear GOD: Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? AnitaDear GOD: Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -NormaDear GOD: Who draws the more...
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs!
Noah’s ark
"Noah," says the Lord, "for the next flood, I want no animals on board, just fish. And not any old fish, but only carp, in glass tanks."
"And this time," says the Lord, "think big, Eight decks at least."
"I got you," says Noah, "what you want is a multi-storey carp ark."