Nurses Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?
Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.

Nurses do it painless.
Nurses do it with TLC.
Nurses do it with care.
Nurses do it with intensive care.

A handsome young lad went into the hospital for
some
minor surgery and the day after the procedure, a
friend
stopped by to see how the guy was doing.
The friend was amazed at the number of Nurses who
entered the room in short intervals with
refreshments,
offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give
back
rubs, etc. "Why all the attention? " the friend
asked.
"You look fine to me."
"I know! " grinned the patient. "But the Nurses
kinda
formed a little fan club when they all heard that
my
circumcision required twenty-seven stitches

How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just have a nursing assistant do it.
As much as the doctor orders.

Q: How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Will somebody please call house-keeping?

One day a family took their elderly, frail father to a nursing home, with the hopes that he would be well cared for.
The next day, the nurses fed and bathed him and sat him in a chair by the window, overlooking the beautiful flower garden. Everything seemed fine until a short time later when he began to fall over sideways in the chair.
Seeing this, two nurses immediately rushed over to him and straightened him up in the chair. Shortly thereafter, he began to tilt to the other side. Once more, the nurses rushed over and straightened him up. This routine went on for the entire morning.
Later in the day, his family arrived to see how he was adjusting to his new environment. "So Dad, how are things going here? Are they treating you well?" they asked him.
"It is pretty nice," he replied, "but they won't let you fart!"

A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery and the day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing.
The friend was amazed at the number of Nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc. "Why all the attention ?" the friend asked. "You look fine to me."
"I know !" grinned the patient. "But the Nurses kinda formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required thirty-seven stitches."