Olympic Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms.
Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?" she blurts, "What makes them so special?"
"There are three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."
"What colour are you going to wear tonight?" she asks cheekily.
"Gold of course," says the man proudly.
The wife responds, "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!"

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms.Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.Upon getting home he shows his wife the purchase he just made."Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?""They're in three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze.""What colour are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily."Gold of course", says the man proudly! The wife responds wryly, "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!".

Former Olympic canoeing champion Frantisek Capek has died of an unspecified heart problem at the age of 93. Doctors could have saved him if they hadn't tragically reached for the wrong paddles.

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms.
Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.

Upon getting home he shows his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?"
"They're in three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."

"What colour are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.
"Gold of course", says the man proudly!

The wife responds wryly, "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!".

A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to
marry her right away. She said, "But we don`t know anything about
each other."
&
He said, "That`s all right, we`ll learn about each other as we go
along." So she consented, and they were married, and went on a
honeymoon to a very nice resort.
&
One morning they were laying by the pool, when he got up off of
his towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a& half tuck gainer, this was followed by a three rotations in& jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water
like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and& lay down on the towel.
&
She said," That was incredible!"
&
He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told
you we`d learn more about ourselves as we went along."
&
So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. more...

BEIJING, CHINA--After two weeks of remarkable success against the world's finest athletes, the Chinese National Olympic Team was carefully disassembled and put back into storage yesterday, placed in a specially designed, high-tech cryogenic freezing pod for preservation until the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, Australia. "You have brought great honor to your nation," said Chinese Prime Minister Deng Xiaoping during a ceremony before more than 800, 000 in Beijing's Tiananmen Square. "Now we must remove your sculpted limbs from your muscular torsos and return you to your sarcophagi so that you may achieve even greater glories for the People's Republic in the future." Amid great cheers from the crowd, Deng then pulled a switch, lowering the athletes into the $440 million, titanium-reinforced, liquid radon-cooled absolute zero temperature athlete preservation chamber, where they will be preserved in a perfect state of suspended animation until July 2000. The elite 120-member more...

The Top 9 Signs Your City Used Bribes to Become an Olympic Site9. IOC members seem unconcerned over scheduling conflicts due to the yachting, diving and swimming events all being held in the 34th Street YMCA pool. 8. All 75 of the new hires in the mayor's office are named either Ingrid or Sven. 7. After Philadelphia lands the Summer Games, Juan Antonio Samaranch sports a hood ornament that looks strangely like the Liberty Bell. 6. Only someone bribed with hookers and college tuition wouldn't think the term "New York City Hospitality Committee" is an oxymoron. 5. Karl Malone is now playing forward for the Utah Samaranches. 4. T-shirt for sale in the hotel lobby: "My dad went to Salt Lake City, and all I got was this T-shirt and college tuition." 3. "Miss Salt Lake" for 1999 requires a translator to deliver her coronation speech. 2. New Olympic mascots: Vinny and Knuckles. and the Number 1 Sign Your City Used Bribes to Become an Olympic Site... 1. The IOC more...