Opinion Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Doctor and his wife were having a big argument at
breakfast. The Doctor, clearly miffed, blurts to his
wife, "You aren't so good in bed either!" and stormed
off to work. By midmorning, he decided he'd better
make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his
wife, clearly out of breath, answers the phone. "What
took you so long to answer and why are you panting?"
"I was in bed." "What in the world are you doing in
bed at this hour?" "Getting a second opinion."

Guyness QuizTake This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: a. Present it to the president of the United States. b. Present it to the secretary general of the United Nations. c. Take it apart. 2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most? a. Innocence. b. Idealism. c. Cherry bombs. 3. When is it okay to kiss another male? a. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions. b. When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)c. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and more...

Worldwide survey was conducted by the! UN. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn't know what' food' meant, In India they didn't know what' honest' meant, In Europe they didn't know what' shortage' meant, In China they didn't know what' opinion' meant, In the Middle East they didn't know what' solution' meant, In South America they didn't know what' please' meant, And in the USA they didn't know what' the rest of the world' meant!

A guy walks into the vet's office with a hamster. He lays the hamster on the table and the doctor says, "I'm sorry, sir, but your hamster is dead."
"I want a second opinion!" the man demands.
So the doctor brings in a cat. The cat walks around the hamster, sniffs him and shakes its head. "Well the cat says your hamster is dead," says the doctor.
"Well I want a third opinion." So the doctor brings in a Labrador retriever. The lab walks around the hamster, sniffs him and shakes its head. "The lab says your hamster is dead."
"OK, fine. What do I owe you?"
"$650" the doctor said.
"What?!? What for?"
"Well, you owe me $50, but the other $600 is for the cat scan and the lab test."