Ordained Jokes

The newly ordained young priest asked his monsignor a favor: Would the older and more experienced man audition the young man's handling of confessions, and give him a candid critique? The monsignor agreed, and at the end of the day called the priest to give his verdict.
"Quite good, on the whole," he said. "But I do have a suggestion. I'd have preferred to hear a few more' Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!' and fewer' Oh, wows!'"

Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy and beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his genitalia and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest (Carlos). As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the ground.Embarrassed, Carlos took a few steps forward, bent over to pick it up and set off all the other bells.

Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up, nude, in a garden while a nude model danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached to his privates, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The model danced before the first monk candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response until she got to the final monk. As she danced, his bell rang so loudly it fell off and clattered to the ground. Embarrassed, he bent down to pick up the bell, and eleven other bells began to ring......