Organ Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sister Mary Holycard was in her 60s, and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon early in the spring a young priest came to chat, so she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor.
She then invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young priest noticed a crystal glass bowl sitting on top of it filled with water, and in the water floated, a condom.
Well, imagine how shocked and surprised he was. Imagine his curiosity! Surely, he thought, Sister Mary had flipped or something!
When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat, and of course, the priest tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water, and the strange floater. Soon it got the better of him and he could resist no longer.
"Sister," he asked, "I wonder if you could tell me about this?" (pointing to the crystal bowl)
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it more...
The organ is the instrument of worship for in its sounding we sense the Majesty of God and in its ending we know the Grace of God.
The Polish Medical Dictionary: Anti-Body - against everyone Artery - study of paintings Bandages - The Rolling Stones Bacteria - what to do when treatment fails Botulism - tendency to make mistakes Bowel - letters lik A E I O or U Caesarean Section - a district in Rome Cardiology - advanced study of poker playing Cat Scan - searching for ones lost kitty Cauterize - made eye contact with her Colic - sheep dog Coma - punctuation mark Congenital - friendly Cortisone - the local courthouse D & C - where Washington is Dilate - to live long Enema - not a friend Enteritis - a penchant for burglary ER - the things on your head that you hear with Fester - quicker Fibrillate - to tell lies Genes - blue denim slacks Genital - non-Jewish Hangnail - coat hook Hemorrhoid - a male From outer space Herpes - what women do in the Ladies Room Hormones - what a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid ICU - peek-a-boo Impotent - distinguished, well known Inpatient - tired of waiting Labor Pain - hurt at more...
A prostitute visited a colleague in the hospital just before she was about to have a heart transplant.
Concerned about her friend's welfare, the prostitute went up to the surgeon and said, "Doctor, I'm worried about my friend. What if her body rejects the organ?"
The doctor replied, "Well, she's 34 years old and is in extremely good health, apart from her heart. How long has she been in the business?"
The patient's friend replied, "She's been working since she was 18 years old, but what's that got to do with anything?"
"Well," said the doctor, "if she's been working for 16 years and hasn't rejected an organ, I don't think she's about to start now!"
Q: Why are organists like a broken-winded cab horse?
A: They are always longing for another stop.
Q: Why are a organist`s fingers like lightning?
A: Because they rarely strike the same place twice.
Q: What do you get if you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat miner.
Q: What do you get if you drop an organ on an army base?
A: A flat major.
Q: Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright?
A: It makes a louder noise, when you drop it off a cliff.
Q: Why was the organ invented?
A: So the musician would have a place to put his beer.
Q: What does a German Hammond organist do in his life`s most tender moments?
A: He puts his Leslie on "slow".
The organ is the instrument of worship for in its sounding we sense the majesty of God and in its ending we know the Grace of God.
During the kandy perahera day time they take a rest near the mahaweli river. One day one mother and her son were walking son saw some unnatural thing centre of the elephant's four legs. son asked mother, "mum what is that? " she asked" what".' look at that, son pointed that unantural organ."Ah! don't worry putha, that is a "SIMPLE THING". some days later the same son went the same way with his father. On that day son saw the same unnatural organ."Look at that dad" son told.'what" dad questioned."that SIMPLE THING". son said "Who told you that" Dad asked."Mum" replied son."Ah! yes that is SIMPLE THING to your mum" Dad told
LOVE: A word involving four letters, two vowels, two consonants and two idiots. It refers to a disease that can be cured by marriage.
ARCHITECT: A guy not "macho" enough to be an engineer and not queer enough to be an interior designer.
TO DANCE: It refers to the vertical frustration of a horizontal desire.
BRAIN: An organ that allows us to think we think.
BOY SCOUT: A child dressed like an idiot guided by an idiot dressed like a child.
HEADACHE: A woman's most trustworthy modern contraceptive.
BUST: Statue of a man without hands or the parts of a woman where a man's hands have been.
ORAL EXAM: A test you must pass to become an intern in the White house.
A POLITICAL CANDIDATE: A person who gets money form the rich and votes from the poor in order to protect them from each other.
TONGUE: A sexual organ that some degenerates use in order to speak.
PRIEST: A person everyone calls "Father" except for his own children, who call more...