Organ Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news", God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."

A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She's worried about the friend so she asks the doctor: Girlfriend: I'm worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the organ? Doctor: Well she's 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been in business? Girlfriend: She's been working since she was 19 years old but what does that have to do with anything? Doctor: Well she's been working 17 years and hasn't rejected an organ yet!

A prostitute visited a colleague in the hospital just before she was about to have a heart transplant.
Concerned about her friend's welfare, the prostitute went up to the surgeon and said, "Doctor, I'm worried about my friend. What if her body rejects the organ?"
The doctor replied, "Well, she's 34 years old and is in extremely good health, apart from her heart. How long has she been in the business?"
The patient's friend replied, "She's been working since she was 18 years old, but what's that got to do with anything?"
"Well," said the doctor, "if she's been working for 16 years and hasn't rejected an organ, I don't think she's about to start now!"

A prostitute was visiting a colleague who was in the hospital to undergo a heart transplant.
Concerned about her friend's wellbeing, the prostitute spoke with the surgeon. "Doctor, I'm concerned about my friend. What if her body rejects the organ?" she asked.
"Well, apart from her heart, she's 32 years old and is in extremely good health," replied the surgeon. "How long has she been in the business?"
"She's been working since the age of 18, but what does that have to do with anything?" the friend inquired.
"If she's been working for 14 years and hasn't rejected an organ, I doubt she's about to start now!" replied the surgeon.

A prostitute went to visit a colleague in the hospital just before she was about to have a heart transplant.

The woman, concerned about her friend's welfare, went up to the surgeon who was going to perform the operation and said, "Doctor, I'm worried about my friend. What if her body rejects the organ?"

The doctor replied, "Well, she's 34 years old and is in extremely good health, apart from her heart. How long has she been in the business?"

The patient's friend replied, "She's been working since she was 18 years old, but what's that got to do with anything?"

"Well," said the doctor, "if she's been working for 16 years and hasn't rejected an organ, I don't think she's about to start now!"

I'll tell you a short poem;
I'll try to make it quick.
The subject is quite simple:
The joy of having a dick.
Penises are super things;
You ladies should be jealous.
An organ surrounded by sensitive skin
That's smooth and rarely hairless
It starts to grow dramatically,
When you're about thirteen.
Your testicles on either side;
Your willy in between.
It dangles neatly down below;
Soft, obedient and loyal.
At the slightest hint of lust,
It's ready to uncoil.
It often has a mind all of its own;
It's like a wild untamed beast.
It squirms and writhes and stretches out;
When you expect it least.
Sometimes, yes, it misbehaves;
Erecting when it shouldn't.
A bumpy train ride sets it off;
Just when you wish it wouldn't.
And during the summer,
wearing little, sunning on the beach
The slightest sight of shaking boobs
Makes it squirm just like a leech.
Handle it with love and more...

Having not seen an elderly church member for a number of years, the priest decided to pay her a visit. After welcoming him and inviting him in, she went into the kitchen to prepare some tea. While he was waiting for her to return, he looked around the room and caught sight of a beautiful oak pump organ with a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was half filled with water and had a condom floating in it.
Astonished and shocked, the priest turned away, but curiosity was getting to him. When the woman came back from the kitchen he asked her about it.
Quite enthusiastically, she explained, "While I was in town about a year ago, I found a package on the sidewalk. I picked it up and read the directions on the back. They said 'keep wet and put on your organ to prevent disease'. I do believe it works, afterall, I haven't had a cold all winter."