Others Jokes / Recent Jokes

Age 3: I learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing "Silent Night".
Age 5: I learned that our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli either.
Age 7: I learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back.
Age 9: I learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again.
Age 12: I learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
Age 14: I learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me.
Age 15: I learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice.
Age 24: I learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures.
Age 26: I learned that wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there.
Age 29: learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
Age 30: I learned more...

What have you learned??
I've learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing "Silent Night". Age 6
I've learned that you can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. Age 7
I've learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back. Age 9
I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up. Age 13
I've learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up. Age 14
I've learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me. Age 15
I've learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice. Age 24
I've learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures. Age 26
I've learned that everyone has their own opinion...I think I am right but that doesn't mean you are wrong. Age 27
I've learned that wherever I go, the worlds worst drivers more...

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if
your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.
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I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
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A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is
where train stops. On my desk, I have a work
station.... what more can I say..........
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Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's
perfect......... so why practice?
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If it's true that we are here to help others, then,
what exactly are the others here for?
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Since light travels faster than sound, people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
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How come "abbreviated" is such a more...

Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.

A police car pulled me over near the high school where I teach. As the officer asked for my license and registration, my students began to drive past. Some honked their horns, others hooted, and still others stopped to admonish me for speeding.
Finally the officer asked me if I was a teacher at the school, and I told him I was.
"I think you've paid your debt to society," he said with a smile, and left without giving me a ticket.

Why not modern Latin: VENI, VEDI, VISA - I came, I saw, I shopped.
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.
Strange! No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning.
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either - leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
10. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
11. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
12. Before you criticize more...