Outlook Jokes

Customer: "I have Microword Soft."

Customer: "Microwave Windows?"

Customer: "Will this upgrade include Microwave 97?"

Customer: (Referring to Microsoft Defrag.) "I ran Microwave Defrost, but it didn't help."

Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

Customer: "I have Microscope Exploiter."

Customer: "I have Netscape Complicator."

Customer: "I have Netscape Regulator."

Customer: "Uhh... I have Newscape and Outlook Exposure."

Customer: "I use Outlook Explorer."

Customer: "I have a US Robotics Sportscaster modem."

Customer: "It's not my computer that is slow. I have a 200 horse power hard drive."

FOOT-AND-MOUTH BELIEVED TO BE FIRST VIRUS UNABLE TO SPREAD THROUGH MICROSOFT OUTLOOK
Researchers Shocked to Finally Find Virus That Email App Doesn't Like
Atlanta, Ga. (SatireWire.com) - Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Symantec's AntiVirus Research Center today confirmed that foot-and-mouth disease cannot be spread by Microsoft's Outlook email application, believed to be the first time the program has ever failed to propagate a major virus.
''Frankly, we've never heard of a virus that couldn't spread through Microsoft Outlook, so our findings were, to say the least, unexpected,'' said Clive Sarnow, director of the CDC's infectious disease unit.
The study was immediately hailed by British officials, who said it will save millions of pounds and thousands of man hours. ''Up until now we have, quite naturally, assumed that both foot-and-mouth and mad cow were spread by Microsoft Outlook,'' said Nick Brown, Britain's Agriculture Minister.
''By more...