Oven Jokes / Recent Jokes

When I found this recipe I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is cooked thoroughly but not dried out. Give this a try.
BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN
6-7 lb. chicken
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing
1 cup uncooked popcorn
salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven. Listen for popping sounds.
When the chicken's ass blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it is done.

This little boy asked his aunt what 'bun in the oven' means. The aunt is trying to explain to him what it means. She says, "the baby cooks in there." The little boy then says, "Why don't you just take the baby out and nuke it?"

A Thanksgiving Cookbook
by Mrs. Geraghty's Kindergarten Class
NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be responsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook.
Meghan H. - Turkey
You cut it into 16 pieces and then you leave it in the oven for 15 minutes and 4 degrees. You take it out and let it cool and then after 5 minutes, then you eat it.
Megan K - Chicken
You put it in the oven for 25 minutes and 25 degrees and put gravy on it and eat it.
Christa - Cookies
Buy some dough and smash it and cut them out. Then put them in the oven for 2 hours at 100 degrees. Then take them out and dry them off. Then it's time to eat them.
Jordan Simons - Chocolate Pudding
Buy some chocolate pudding mix. Then you add the milk. Then you add the pudding mix. Then you stir it. Then you put it in the refrigerator and wait for it to get hard. Then you eat it.
Tommy - Pumpkin
Cook the pumpkin. Then get ready to eat the pumpkin.
Joplyn - Apple Pie
Take more...

One year at Christmas my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister was, mom decided to play a trick.
She told my sister that she needed something from the store and sent her for it. While she was gone, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, unstuffed it, restuffed it with a Cornish game hen, put stuffing back over the top of it, and put it back in the oven.
When it came time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out this little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you killed a pregnant bird!!!"
At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took my mother two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs.

In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, we subjected the Hostess snack logs to the following experiments:

Exposure
A Twinkie was left on a window ledge for 4 days, during which time an inch and a half of rain fell. Many flies were observed crawling across the Twinkie’s surface, but contrary to hypothesis, birds, even pigeons, avoided this potential source of substance. Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Twinkie retained its original color and form. When removed, the Twinkie was found to be substantially dehydrated. Cracked open, it was observed to have taken on the consistency of industrial foam insulation; the filling however, retained its advertised “creaminess”

Radiation
A Twinkie was placed in a conventional microwave oven, which was set for precisely 4 minutes - the approximate cooking time of bacon. After 20 seconds, the oven began to emit the more...

Great Chicken Recipe:
When I found this recipe I thought it was perfect for those who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is cooked thoroughly but not dried out. Give this a try.
Baked Stuffed Chicken
2-3 kg chicken
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing
1 cup uncooked popcorn
salt & pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt and pepper.
Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.
Place in baking pan in the oven.
Listen for the popping sounds.

One year at Christmas my mom went to my sister's house for the
traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister was, mom decided
to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from
the store and sent her for it. While she was gone, my mom took the
turkey out of the oven, unstuffed it, restuffed it with a Cornish
game hen, put stuffing back over the top of it, and put it back in
the oven.
When it came time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of
the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving
spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out this little
bird!
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed,
"Patricia, you killed a pregnant bird!!!!"
At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.
It took my mother two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs