Oven Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mom's Brownies Recipe...
Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.
Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.
Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr "no, no."
Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards.
Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.
Take shortening can away from Jr. again and bathe cat.
Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail.
Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.
Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation.
Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill.
Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
Let cat out of refrigerator.
Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan.
Bake 25 minutes.
Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. more...

Mommy, Mommy! What's an Oedipus complex?
Shut up and kiss me!
Mommy, Mommy! Whats an orgasm?
I don't know dear, ask your father.
Mommy, Mommy! What's a nymphomaniac?
Shut up and help me get Gramma off
the doorknob!
Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off thecliff?
Shut up son, you'll wake your father.
Mommy, Mommy! The milkmans here;
have you got the money or should I go
out anplay?
Mommy, Mommy! Why's everybody running?
Shut up and reload.
Mommy, Mommy! Why are you moaning?
Shut up son, and keep licking.
Mommy, Mommy! Can I get pregnant?
Of course not dear, you are only seven years
old.
OK boys, same again...
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street!
Shut up and step on the gas!
Come upstairs, son, like a good boy.
No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again.

Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!
Shut up and get away from the dart board!

Mommy, more...