Pacific Jokes

A remote island in the South Pacific has agreed to take several prisoners from Guantanamo. The skipper, the millionaire, the movie star, the professor and Mary Ann!

"I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job"--George Bush, during his first Presidential campaign"This is a great day for France!"--Richard Nixon, while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral"Now, like, I'm President. It would be pretty hard for some drug guy to come into the White House and start offering it up, you know?. .. I bet if they did, I hope I would say,' Hey, get lost. We don't want any of that.'"--George Bush, talking about drug abuse to a group of students"For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex. .. uh... setbacks." --George Bush"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change." --Dan Quayle"Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here." --Dan Quayle during a more...

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it. Caution!. . . . . . . . . . These people Vote
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While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent
which direction was North because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, (and has for sometime), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff".. . . . . . . . She ALSO votes!
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I used to work in technical more...

What is a Sikh scuba diver called? Jal-A ndhar-Singh.
What is history of Punjab called? Sarson-Da-Saga.
What would Punjabi International Airlines be called? Kitthe Pacific.
What would Punjabi National Airlines be named? lithe Pacific.
What do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer? Just-beer Singh.
What do you call a Sardar who has only one drink? Just-one Singh.
What is a Sindhi lawyer called? Case-wani.
What is a Sindhi lawyer chasing a case called? Purse- wani.
What is a communist Sindhi called? Lalwani.
What is a Sindhi who falls from the first floor called? Thadani.
What is a Sindhi who falls from the 30th floor called? Marjani.
What do you call a very rich Malayalee? Million Iyer.

Detroit, Oregon - A hunter thought he had found a severed human head in an abandoned mining shed and called the police. Deputy Larry Taylor realized it was just the head of a mannequin when he noticed a price sticker on the forehead.

Redondo Beach, California - After a short chase, officer Joseph Fonteno charged the driver of a white Mazda with DUI. The car had been driving down Pacific Coast Highway with the upper half of a traffic light pole laying across its hood. When Fonteno asked the drunk driver about the pole, he responded: "It came with the car when I bought it."

Australia - The Australian Police Journal reported that an elderly woman had already used about half of the powder in a custard packet when she discovered an object that appeared to be a large dead cockroach. However, when she brought it to the Health Department, food analysts determined it to be a dried-up human finger. The following investigation revealed that a factory worker had more...