Paint Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a blonde woman, who was tired of being looked upon as stupid, so she tried to do something signifigant while her husband was out. So, the blonde decided to paint her living room and she said "I show them that blondes can paint, too"
However, when her husband came home he was bewildered to find his wife laying on the floor with three coats on and sweating.
When the husdand asked what the wife was doing, she got and proclaimed "I tried to paint the living room, but the instructions said I needed to apply three coats".

Q. Did you hear about the new paint on the market?
A. It's called Blonde. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy!

During the boom in the share market, my friend Mahesh Lalwani sold all his shares which fetched him Rs. 150, 000. With the money he bought a new Maruti and asked me to suggest a suitable slogan to paint on the back of his new car. He accepted my suggestion to paint, "Courtesy Harshad Mehta".

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man`s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You`re finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And more...

One hot and humid summer day my blonde friend Betty decided to paint her bathroom. Thinking she could use a break, I picked up some cold sodas and sandwiches and went over to see how she was doing.
When I arrived there was Betty, dressed in her fur coat and ski jacket, painting away. I asked her why she would dress that way on such a hot day. That's when she brought me the paint can and told me to read the instructions, which I did.
It said... "For best results, put on two coats."

DISCLAIMER: The sender of this joke and web site provider are not responsible or liable for any thing that happens while attempting these things.
CAUTION: Not to be attempted by anyone under 5 years driving expereince!
Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.
At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
Two words: Chicken suit.
Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
Stop at the green lights.
Go at the red ones.
Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
Eat food that requires silverware.
Pass cars, then drive very slowly.
Sing without having the radio more...

Did you hear about the new blonde paint? It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.