Panicked Jokes

During the Japanese Occupation, 3 Singaporeans, Ah Meng, Ah Seng and Ah Beng were caught for smuggling. They were sentenced to death by firing squad. That night, Ah Meng came up with a plan. He told the others that the Japanese were afraid of natural disasters. So he would cause them to panic, and escape in the confusion. The next morning, Ah Meng was led to the wall. The firing squad was lined up and the Captain commanded, "Ready.. Aim..", but before he could complete, Ah Meng shouted, " Earthquake!! Earthquake!" The Japanese soldiers panicked and Ah Meng made his escape. Later, the soldiers took Ah Seng out and the firing squad were ready. The captain commanded, "Ready... Aim..." This time Ah Seng shouted. " Flood! Flood!!" Again, the Japanese soldiers panicked and this time, Ah Seng made his escape. Observing all this, Ah Beng began to get the idea. "It's important to get the timing right." Soon, it was Ah Beng's turn. "Timing, more...

After the baby was born, the panicked Japanese father went to see the obstetrician. "Doctor," he said, "I don`t mind telling you, but I`m a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can`t possibly be mine." "Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool." "It isn`t possible," the man insisted. "We`re pure Oriental." "Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?" The man seemed ashamed. "I`ve been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice a month." "There you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "It`s just rust."