Parent Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a father and son are flying a kite. The kite is going in circles and crashing. The father comforts the son and the mother yells,' 'You need more tail!'' The father then tells the son,' 'Son, I will never understand your mom. Last night when we were having' 'fun'', I asked her for more tail and she told me to go fly a kite.''

When is a parent like a child? When he's a miner.

What's another name for an parent? Someone who's stopped growing except around the waist.

You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick. You find humor in other people's stupidity. You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 8 to 3: 20 and have summers free." You believe chocolate is a food group. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside. You believe "Shallow gene pool" should have its own box in the report card. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior. You have no life between August to June. When you mention "Vegetables" you're not talking about a food group. You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce. You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce. You believe in aerial spraying of Prozak. You believe no one should be permitted to more...

Why are parents boring? Because they're groan-ups.

One Day My Wife Had a Parent Teachers Meeting. But 2 Days Before, Her Six Year Old Sons Class Had to Write a Sentence With The "Word" Glass In It. Now My Wife Made Bottled Jams, Using Mason Jar Bottles.She Would Clean One Out To Drink Water From It & Lay It By The Tap. So The Day Of The Parent Teachers Meeting, She was Walking Into The Main Door & Notice The Teachers & Parents Looking At The Main Board In The Hall & Laughting At my Wife Coming Towards Them.Wondering What All The fuss Was About, She Notice An 8x10 Piece of Paper On The Board.
This Is What It Read:
My Mom No Longer Drinks From A Glass,
She now Drinks From The Bottle...
This Is A True Story>>>>

"Dad, why do you write so slow?" asked Dennis. "I have to," replied his father. "Im a slow reader."