Password Jokes / Recent Jokes

Thou shall love thy BBS with all thy heart and all thy bytes. Thou shalt remember thy name and password. Thou shalt only call a BBS two times a day. Honor thy SysOp. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's password, nor his or her real name, computer, software, nor any other thing belonging to him or her. Thou shalt not post messages that are stupid, worthless, or have no meaning. Thou shalt use the English language properly. Thou shalt spell thy words correctly when ever possible. Thou shalt delete thine olden messages. Thou shalt help other users. Thou shalt not post anonymously when offering criticism. Thou shalt keep thy foul language to thyself. Woe be unto the user who attempt to crash thy BBS, for he or she shalt be cast out from the sanctuary of thy hobby and must repent by doing 40 days and 40 nights of penance of voice-only communications. Thou shalt first dial BBS numbers during the day by way of voice line to assure correct numbers. Thou shalt not post messages while drunk. more...

Programmer at this retail chain gets an assignment to add some functionality to four reporting applications. One change request is to add passwords to one of the four applications -- but just one."Just doing one sounded suspicious to me," says the programmer. "So I decided to code the password logic in a separate module for easy reuse. I only had to add one line of code to the existing executable."Fast-forward six months: The new versions are installed in a handful of stores for beta testing before they'll roll out to 1,000 stores nationwide. Programmer's boss drops by his cubicle to tell him that the users like the password function, but they wanted it on all four applications. How long would it take to add it to the other three?He calculates: add one line of code, compile, do some testing. That's maybe a few hours' work if everything goes as planned -- which it seldom does."Two days," he tells his boss.She's skeptical. "Are you sure?" she more...

I was helping someone set up his computer, and he wanted to log in with a password. You have to understand he's got somewhat of a rebellious attitude and goes for the shock effect. So when the computer asked him to enter his password, he keys in penis. I nearly fell off the chair from laughing so hard when the computer replied: PASSWORD REJECTED. TOO SHORT

Stop neglecting children; at least learn their names and birthdays.
Stop circulating the "Good Times Virus" and "Join the Crew" e-mail.
Read all of the mail from all of the lists I have subscribed to.
Limit my subscriptions of lists to a maximum of fifty.
Back-up 4 gig hard drive weekly; well, maybe at least monthly.
Not rush to any ftp site as soon as I hear of a new Beta.
Insist that all "ten best" lists be strictly limited to ten.
Not buy magazines with AOL disks just to get another 1.44MB disk.
Answer Snail Mail with the same enthusiasm & promptness as e-mail.
Spend less than two hours a day on the Web; on new sites anyway.
Try the e-mail version of the Mrs. Fields cookie recipe.
Promise when I hear "Where do you want to go today?", I won't laugh. (Well, maybe not!)
Think of a password other than "password" to use on web sites.
Never "throw" another snowball via e-mail; more...

Once morron and idiot were standing in a line of a atm machine where morron was behind idiot when morron was removing money idiot spoke from behind to morron i saw your password its **** listening to bantas hearing santas u r wrong its 1258.

THE LIFE OF A COMPUTER ANALYST (Long but VERY Funny!) Monday ------ 8: 05am User called to say they forgot password. Told them to use password retrieval utility called FDISK. Blissfully ignorant, they thank me and hang up. God, we let these people vote and drive, too? 8: 12am Accounting called to say they couldn't access expense reports database. Gave them Standard Sys Admin Answer #112, "Well, it works for me." Let them rant and rave while I unplugged my coffeemaker from the UPS and plugged their server back in. Suggested they try it again. One more happy customer... 8: 14 am User from 8: 05 call said they received error message "Error accessing Drive 0." Told them it was an OS problem. Transferred them to microsupport. 11: 00 am Relatively quiet for last few hours. Decide to plug support phone back in so I can call my girlfriend. Says parents are coming into town this weekend. Put her on hold and transferred her to janitorial closet down in basement. What is she more...

Nancy Reagan is the celebrity contestant on Password. It's her turn to guess the word. Voice Over: And the password is... black dick! Nancy: Um... is it a place? Her partner: No. Nancy: Is it a person? Her partner: No. Nancy: Hmm, then it must be a thing. Um, is it something Imight want to eat? Her partner, exasperated: Well, I dunno, maybe. Nancy: Is it black dick?