Patrick Jokes / Recent Jokes

An American tourist travelling in Limerick came across a little antique shop in which he was lucky enough to pick up, for a mere $150, the skull of Saint Patrick.

Included in the price was a certificate of the skull's authenticity, signed by Saint Patrick himself.

Ten years later the tourist returned to Ireland and asked the antique shop owner if he had any more bargains.

"I've got the very thing for you," said the Irishman. "It's the genuine skull of Saint Patrick".

"You swindler," said the American. "You sold me that ten years ago," and, producing the skull, added, "Look, they're not even the same size".

"You have it all wrong," said the Irishman. "This is the skull of Saint Patrick when he was a lad."

For his birthday Little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $180, 000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."
The next day the father saw Little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"
Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and I heard you tell Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with an $180, 000 mortgage and no friken bike!"

Danica Patrick was repeatedly bumped from the front, side and back at her first stockcar event. And that was before she even made it onto the track.


In the international school of Ireland, there is a very patriotic history
teacher.
One day, the teacher asked his students, "Who is the most important man in
the history of the world?" He then offered 2 shillings to the student who
gets the right answer.
A French student stands up and says, "Napoleon was the most important man
in the history of the world."
The teacher looked at him and said, "Napoleon was a great man, no doubt,
but he wasn't the most important man, or the man I'm looking for. Sorry, no
shilling for ya."
Then, an Italian student stands up and says, "Leonardo da Vinci was the
most important man in the history of the world."
The teacher looked at him and said, "Leonardo da Vinci was a great man
also, no doubt, but he wasn't the most important man, or the man I'm
looking for. Sorry, no shilling for ya either."
Then, a Jewish student stands up, out of no where and more...

1st man: My son was born on Saint David's day, so I called him David.
2nd man: My son was born on Saint Patrick's day, so I called him Patrick.
3rd man: Well, my son was born on Shrove Tuesday, so I called him Pancakes.

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?
On St. Patrick's Day everyone wishes they were Irish.

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? On St. Patrick's Day everyone wishes they were Irish.