Patrick Jokes / Recent Jokes
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he for a long time. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying "Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?" Father Patrick told the farmer "No, we cant have services for an animal in the church, but Ill tell you what, theres a new denomination down the road apiece, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe theyll do something for the animal." Muldoon said "Ill go right now. By the way, do you think $50, 000 is enough to donate for the service?" Father Patrick replied "Why didnt you tell me the dog was Catholic."
When the Irish say that St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland, what they don't tell you is that he was the only one who saw any snakes!
Neil Patrick Harris, who played a teenager doctor on the show Doogie Howser MD came out of the closet and stated that he is a homosexual. So it's true. The good ones are always either taken or gay.
Things that make me cringe!: 1. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no genitals. 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. 3. The Norwich Life commercial where the old bastard answers the phone, says hello and then immediately tells his wife "It's Patrick! He bought life insurance!" Excuse me? how did Patrick find the time to tell you this? You barely breathed between "Hello" and It's Patrick". And why the hell do you have big sheets of bristol board and thick markers by the phone? Do you people play Pictionary over the phone often? 4. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fuck off! What good is a damn cake you can't eat? What, should I eat someone else's cake Instead? 5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking more...
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on. After many long years of companionship, the dog finally died so Muldoon went to the parish priest:
"Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the creature?"
Father Patrick replied, "I am so very sorry to hear about your dog's death. But, unfortunately we cannot have services for an animal in the church. However, there's a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they'll do something for the animal."
Muldoon said, "I'll go right now. Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?"
Father Patrick: "$500? - Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?!"
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he for a long time.
The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying "Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?"
Father Patrick told the farmer "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a new denomination down the road apiece, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they'll do something for the animal."
Muldoon said "I'll go right now. By the way, do you think $50, 000 is enough to donate for the service?"
Father Patrick replied "Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic."
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on. After many long years of companionship, the dog finally died so Muldoon went to the parish priest:"Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the creature?"Father Patrick replied, "I am so very sorry to hear about your dog's death. But, unfortunately we cannot have services for an animal in the church. However, there's a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they'll do something for the animal."Muldoon said, "I'll go right now. Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?"Father Patrick: "$500? - Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?!"