Pauline Jokes

Why Men Always Have Opinions, Even On Subjects They Know Nothing About In the animal kingdom, males
exhibit what is known as "display behavior" in order to attract females and to ward off rival males.
They thrust out their chests, ruffle their plummage, and generally try to appear more impressive than
they really are. On nature shows, this is comic. It appears comic, too, when it shows up among
humans: the guy in the Camaro with all the gold chains, say, or Vanilla Ice's haircut. It has been
discovered that display behavior is much more common among humans than had been previously believed.
Have you ever wondered why:
Men who have never been west of Kentucky can tell you about the mentality of the Japanese?
Men who can't pay their credit-card bills have a plan for dealing with the national debt?
Men who aren't on speaking terms with their families know how to achieve peace in the Middle
East?
Men who flunked high-school more...

One day, Pauline Hanson is being chauffeured to a One Nation rally in the Queensland outback, when her driver swerves to avoid a pot hole and hits a cow on the side of the road, killing it instantly.



When they arrive at their destination, Pauline suggests to the driver that he should go back to the farm house and apologise for the accident and offer to pay for the damages.



Three hours later, the driver returns, with all his clothes torn, holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cuban cigar in the other, and swaying left to right as he walked. Pauline asks the driver "What happened"?



"Well, the farmer gave me this bottle, his wife gave me this cigar, and his beautiful 19 year old daughter made passionate love to me!"



"Bloody hell - what did you tell them?"



"I said, Hi, I'm Pauline Hanson's driver and I just killed the cow!"

Teacher: "Johnny, put the word INFATUATION in a sentence".
Johnny: "A Jap tourist walks into Pauline Hanson's fish and chip shop, and asks her `How do you cook your chips?', so Pauline tells him, `In fat you Asian'".