Pence Jokes / Recent Jokes

How did you do it?
Young David asked his rich grandfather, Paul, how he had made his money. Paul said, "Well, David, it was 1955, and I was down to my last five pence. I went to the local market and invested that five pence in a large apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten pence." "The next morning, I invested the ten pence in two large apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and I sold them at 5pm for twenty pence. I continued this system for a month. Then Grandma’s father died and left us two million pounds."

There were two grocers, Smith and Jones, in the same street. Smith had a sign in his window, "Avocados, 20 pence a pound". A woman goes in and asks for some. "Sorry love", said Smith, "I haven't got any in just now; come back on Wednesday".

So she goes on up the street to Jones. But his avocados are 2 pounds-fifty a pound! But at least he has them in stock.
"That's a bit steep isn't it? Smith's are only 20 pence a pound".
"Yeah", says Jones, "and when I haven't got any in stock, mine also are only 20 pence a pound!"