Peoples Jokes

To My Countrymen Dear peoples from di Phillipines, As you are already informed via the internit, you should all be fully in awareness that I am going to be the next President of the Philippines. Now I know all the votes are not yet fully counted, but who cares about counting all the votes? You've seen one ballot, you've seen them all. Trust me, they all look the same. I am in knowing that many of you peoples here have somethings in reserved against me, and also thats many of you often make fun of me. So plees, plees let me re-insure you that I am not the man you are thinking I am. Many of the mudslingings about me from my opposers are lies, or things that are in the past. And I am not as stoopid as you beleive. I know how to subtract 2 plus 2, I can spell english better than Dan Kwayl, I know about economics and the law of sublime and demand. Underneath this barong, pantalon, and leopard briefs, is a man who knows what to do. You only need to ask the many women who have seen me and more...

It all starts off one day when Hillary Clinton dies and she goes to heaven.
When she finally gets up there she see's over a million clocks around heaven, so she asks one of the angels "why are there so many clocks up here?"
The angel says " each clock has a name on it and the name of that person is still in earth, when that person lies the clock ticks one second."
So Hillary said "OK."
Then she asked if she could check out some famouse peoples clocks, the angel said "ok."
So they went around heaven and they saw different peoples clocks, and of course once and a while they would go and turn one full second.
So about 10 minutes later she asks "may I see my husbands clock?"
The angel says "sorry its upstairs with Jesus."
Hillary says "why?"
The angel replies "he was getting pretty hot so he took it with him to use it as a fan.

Once upon a time, the six peoples were traveling in a private plane and that six persons were bollywood king sharukh khan, congress president sonia gandhi, railway minister lalu yadav, small boy, one old man and a pilot.

Suddenly the problem starts in a plane so pilot told everybody to get out but the problem was there were only 5 parachutes but the people were six.

So first our bollywood king sharukh has jumped from the plane by saying, “Bollywood needs me. ”

Next our sonia by saying, “Congress need me. ”

Then our respected laluji by saying, “Hamari railway ko meri bahut jarurat hain bhai. ”

Then pilot, old man and small boy remained in the plane but the problem was there was only one parachute but 2 peoples to jump so the old man told small boy beta, “you jump bcoz I have spent my whole life but you have your future ahead so I will sacrifice for you. ”

Suddenly that small boy laugh and says we both can more...

President General Pervez Musharaf preside over a cabinate meeting, he told the meeting that his government is doing great jobs for the poor peoples of pakistan, there are very much development in every where, and the peoples are glad to him, after the meeting a young minister visited all the sites and the areas which were told in the cabinate meeting by the pervez musharaff, but he found nothing, next time in the meeting he told the President Muzharaf that I visited every where but found nothing as you told, President saw the Minister and said" stay at home, do you job, dont go here and there, and read the official news papers and watch Ptv."

Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.