Peters Jokes

When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. "Since I've been with the firm for so long," he said, "I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation."The human resources director agreed and said he'd have the letter that next day. The following morning, Peters found the letter on his desk. It read, "Jonathan Peters worked for our company for eleven years. When he left us, we were very satisfied."

Winston Peters is visiting a school.
In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stands up and offersthat, "if my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy".
"No," Winston says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."
A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy". "I'm afraid not, "explains Winston, "that is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room is silent, none of the other children volunteer. "What?" asks Winston, "isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Winston Peters was blown up by a bomb, THAT would be a more...

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. Being shrewd and diligent, business kept coming in and she soon realized she needed an in-house counsel.
Interviewing the first applicant, she said, "I am certain you can understand that in a business such as this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." Leaning forward, she asked, "Mr. Peters, are you an honest lawyer?"
"Honest?" Mr. Peters replied. "Without a doubt. Why I am so honest that when my father loaned me $20,000 for my education, I paid back every penny the moment I tried my first case."
"That's very impressive," she replied. "What sort of case was it?"
Squirming in his seat, he sheepishly replied, "He sued me for the money."

Peters was the university's star fullback. A few days before the big game, he injured his leg during a practice scrimmage and was told he would be unable to play in the game of the year. The college paper planned to announce the sad news with the headline, "Team Will Play Without Peters."
However, the Dean caught this bit of college humor before the paper went to press and ordered the editor to change it or be kicked off the paper. The editor complied, and Saturday morning the paper hit the campus with the headline, "Team Will Play With Peters Out."

When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. "Since I've been with the firm for so long," he said, "I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation."
The human resources director agreed and said he'd have the letter that next day. The following morning, Peters found the letter on his desk. It read, "Jonathan Peters worked for our company for eleven years. When he left us, we were very satisfied."