Pharmacy Jokes / Recent Jokes
A penguin walked into a pharmacy and asked for some fish. The pharmacist explained that being a pharmacy they did not sell fish. The pharmasist said there was a shop down the road that sold fish. 15 minuets later the penguin came back and asked for some fish. The pharmacist said that if he came back again that she would nail his beak to the counter. Then the penguin asked if they had any nails. The pharmacist said "no". "Well in that case, have you got any fish!
MEMO TO: All Hospital Staff
FROM: Administration/Groundskeeper
SUBJECT: New Cost Cutting Measures
Effective January 1 this hospital will no longer provide security. Each charge nurse will be issued a .38 caliber revolver and 12 rounds of ammunition. An additional 12 rounds will be stored in the pharmacy. In addition to routine nursing duties, Charge Nurses will rotate the patrolling of the hospital grounds. A bicycle and helmet will be provided for patrolling the park areas.
In light of the similarity of monitoring equipment, ICU will now take over the security surveillance duties. The unit secretary will be responsible for watching cardio and security monitors as well as continuing previous secretarial duties.
Food service will be discontinued. Patients wishing to be fed will need to let their families know to bring something, or may make arrangements with Subway, Domino's, etc., before meal time. Coin-operated telephones will be available in the patient rooms for more...
At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infants weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first. "That wont work," countered the woman. "Im not the mother, Im the aunt."
A man was new in town and caught the flu, so he went to see a doctor. The doctor gave him three prescriptions. Before the man left the doctor's office, he asked for directions to the nearest pharmacy. The doctor said, "Go six blocks down and you will see a pharmacy on the left hand side."
The man followed the doctor's directions and had no trouble finding the pharmacy. As he got out of his car, he noticed a gigantic sign which read: "The Giant Pharmacy where you get more for your money."
He walked in and gave the pharmacist the three prescriptions. When his name was called, he noticed that the clerk placed a gigantic container of antibiotics on the counter, then had trouble picking up a huge bottle of cough syrup.
The man became alarmed, and before the clerk walked away to bring the third prescription, he yelled "Excuse me sir... the suppositories... I don't want them!!"
Robert Johnson had been retired for a year when his wife of fifty years suggested one day, "Why don't we take a cruise for a week and make wild passionate love like we did when we were young?"He thought it over and agreed. Bob put on his hat and coat and went down to the corner drug store. He stepped up to the counter and asked for a bottle of seasick pills and a box of condoms.Upon returning home his wife greeted him at the door saying, "You know dear, I've been thinking it over. I see no reason why we couldn't manage a month-long cruise. so we could relax and make wild passionate love like we did when we were young."Bob smiled, turned around, and went back to the pharmacy. He stepped up and ordered 12 bottles of seasick pills and a dozen boxes of condoms. Upon returning back home, his wife met him on the porch with a big smile on her face. "Bob, I have a marvelous idea. You know, now that our children are all on their own, there's nothing to stop us from more...