Pierre Jokes / Recent Jokes

Pierre was a camper from France. In his honour, Jenny sang a French song in the talent show. But she didn't sing very well.' Does that make you homesick?' someone asked Pierre.' No,' he answered.' Just sick sick!'

Jean-Claude and Michelle are a couple living in France. One day, Jean- Claude comes home from work and Michelle says: "Jean-Claude, today ze light-bulb, it has gone out. You must fix it for me." "What am I? Electricien?" The next day, Jean-Claude comes home from work and Michelle says: "Jean-Claude, today ze carpet eet eez dirty, you must beat eet for me." "What am I? Carpet-beater?" The very next day, Jean-Claude comes home from work and Michele says: "Oh, Jean-Claude, today your friend Pierre came over. He changed ze light-bulb and he beat ze carpet for me." Jean-Claude seemed angry: "Oh, but I know zis Pierre. He never does anysing for nossing. What did he want?" "He gave me 2 choices: he said I can bake him a cake or... sleep wiss heem." "Which one did you choose?" "What am I? Baker?"

An Irishman was in the South of France and could not understand why Pierre had attracted so many girls on the beach and he had attracted no one. So he asked Pierre, "How do you manage to attract all the girls and I attract no one?"
Pierre said, "Take a potato and tuck it in your swimming costume, it drives the women wild."
So the Irishman stuffed a potato in his costume and paraded up and down the beach. After a great many hours, however, he still failed to arouse a woman.
So the Irishman went to see Pierre again and said, "I've tried it Pierre, it doesn't work!"
Pierre took one look at the Irishman and said, "You might try putting the potato in the front of your bathing suit!"

Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air.
Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me!" Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.
"What are you doing, Pierre?", says the startled Marie.
"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!
She smiles and they start kissing. When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower."
Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts.
"Pierre! What are you doing?', asks the bewildered Marie.
"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!"
They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss more...

An Irishman was in the South of France and could not understand why Pierre had attracted so many girls on the beach and he had attracted no one. So he asked Pierre, "How do you manage to attract all the girls and I attract no one?"

Pierre said, "Take a potato and tuck it in your swimming costume, it drives the women wild."

So the Irishman stuffed a potato in his costume and paraded up and down the beach. After a great many hours, however, he still failed to arouse a woman.

So the Irishman went to see Pierre again and said, "I''ve tried it Pierre, it doesn''t work!"

Pierre took one look at the Irishman and said, "You might try putting the potato in the front of your bathing suit!"

Pierre is visiting New York City from Montreal for the weekend. After he unpacks, he decides to go for a walk and get familiar with the area. He is walking through Central Park when he notices a beautiful woman sitting on a park bench. So he starts talking to her, talking leads to dinner, dinner leads to dancing, and before you know it, they are spending the rest of the weekend in his hotel room.
Six months later, Pierre is extradited back to NYC because the woman is charging him with rape. So the judge says to him,
"Pierre, I have heard her side of the story, now tell me your side." Pierre says, "Your Honor, we meet in ze park, we talk, we go to dinner, we go out dancing, we go back to hotel room and make love." The judge says,
"Now Pierre, no one is disputing the fact that you had intercourse with this woman, but what we need to know is did you have her consent." And Pierre replies, "Oh oui oui your Honor, I had her cunt scent on my more...

One day, a genie was in a remarkably good mood, so he decided to go around the world, granting people their fondest wishes.First, he came to London, where he saw a very sad-looking Englishman. He said to the man, "I am a genie. Tell me what you want most, and I will grant it to you."The Englishman said, "My cousin Nigel has the most beautiful mansion you ever saw, but I don't even have a house at all. It's not fair! I'm just as good as he is! Why should HE have such a beautiful house and not me? Well, I want you to give me a house even bigger than Nigel's."The genie snapped his fingers, and the house appeared magically. The Englishman was delighted.Next, the genie went to Paris, where he saw a sad Frenchman. The genie asked the Frenchman what he wanted most. The Frenchman said, "My cousin Pierre has the most beautiful wife you ever saw, but I don't have a wife at all. It's not fair!
Why should HE have a beautiful wife and not me? I want you to give me a more...