Pin Jokes / Recent Jokes

HIS
Pull up to ATM
Insert card
Enter PIN number and account
Take cash, card and receipt
HERS
Pull up to ATM
Check makeup in rearview mirror
Shut off engine
Put keys in purse
Get out of car because you're too far from machine
Hunt for card in purse
Insert card
Hunt in purse for gum wrapper with PIN number written on it
Enter PIN number
Study instructions for at least 2 minutes
Hit "cancel"
Re-enter correct PIN number
Check balance
Look for envelope
Look in purse for pen
Make out deposit slip
Endorse checks
Make deposit
Study instructions
Make cash withdrawal
Get in car
Check makeup
Look for keys
Start car
Check makeup
Start pulling away
STOP
Back up to machine
Get out of car
Take card and receipt
Get back in car
Put card in wallet
Put receipt in checkbook
Enter deposits and more...

His And Hers ATMsHIS: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN number and account 4. Take cash, card and receipt HER: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Check makeup in rearview mirror 3. Shut off engine 4. Put keys in purse 5. Get out of car because you're too far from machine 6. Hunt for card in purse 7. Insert card 8. Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN number written on it. 9. Enter PIN number 10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes. 11. Hit "cancel" 12. Re-enter correct PIN number 13. Check balance 14. Look for envelope 15. Look in purse for pen 16. Make out deposit slip 17. Endorse checks 18. Make deposit 19. Study instructions 20. Make cash withdrawal 21. Get in car 22. Check makeup 23. Look for keys 24. Start car 25. Check makeup 26. Start pulling away 27. STOP 28. Back up to machine 29. Get out of car 30. Take card and receipt 31. Get back in car 32. Put card in wallet 33. Put receipt in checkbook 34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook 35. Clear area in more...

Q: If Santa doesn't have to age, then why has he become old?
A: He only appears to be old. He's an undercover kid.

Q: How can a sleigh possibly fly through the air?
A: If you were being pulled by eight flying reindeer, wouldn't you fly too?

Q: Why do we wish people a "Merry Christmas" instead of a "Happy Christmas"?
A: The two are about the same, but with "Merry Christmas" an extra twinkle is
seen in the eyes.

Q: Why is a Christmas tree that has been chopped down called a "live
Christmas tree?"
A: It's dead but doesn't know it, and yet it's having the time of its life.

Q: Why do we wrap our Christmas gifts with paper?
A: Because we like to see surprise and joy (real or kindly faked) in the
recipients.

Q: How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
A: Nowadays, only four angels can dance there. Formerly there was no limit,
but OSHA passed more...

Please note that the bank is installing new
"Drive-through" teller machines. Customers will be able
to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To
enable customers to use this new facility the following
procedures have been drawn up. Please read the
procedure that applies to your own circumstances
(i. e. MALE or FEMALE) and remember them when you use the
machine for the first time.

MALE PROCEDURE
* 1 Drive up to the cash machine.
* 2 Put down your car window.
* 3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
* 4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
* 5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt
* 6 Put window up
* 7 Drive off

FEMALE PROCEDURE
* 1 Drive up to cash machine
* 2 Reverse back the required amount to align car
window to machine
* 3 Set parking Brake, Put the window down
* 4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to
passenger
seat to locate more...

The sergeant was holding a drill with recruits in grenade throwing.
“Here’s a live grenade. You pull this pin, count one, two, three, ’ and throw the thing. Got it? ”
“Yes, sergeant, ”
“Off we go, men! Johnson, your are the first. ”
The soldier pulled the pin, then yelled: “One, two, lliree. Throwing. Catch it, sergeant! ”

Hey, Sally," said the college man, "how come you're not wearing my fraternity pin?"
"But, Bob, it was such a nuisance," the pretty coed pouted playfully. "All the fellows were complaining that it scratched their hands."

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me Janice, who created the universe? ”
When Janice didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “God Almighty! ” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good” and Janice fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked Janice, “Who is our Lord and Saviour. ” But, Janice didn’t even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. “Jesus Christ! ” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good, ” and Janice fell back asleep. Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? ” and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Janice jumped up and shouted, “If you stick me with that thing one more time, I’ll break it in half and more...