Piss Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Italian
One day I go to Toronto and stay in a bigga hotel.
I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two pissa toast. She bring me only one piss.
I tella her I wanna two piss; she say, go to toilet - I say, you no understand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you betta no piss on plate, you sonna ma b*tch! I don't even know lady, she calla me somma ma b*tch.
Then I go to pharmacia with a cougha. The man he give me candy ana tell me fa cough! - I don't even know man ana he tella me FA COUGH!
Later I got to eat soma lunch at Ricky's Place, the waitress she bring me spoon, a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock - She tell me everybody wanna fock. I tella her, you no understand, I wanna fock on table. She say you betta not fock on table you sonna ma b*tch - I not even know lady ana she call me sonna ma b*tch.
So, I go back to my hotel room, an there's no sheet on my bed. I calla the manager and tella him I wanna sheet, he more...

There were 3 boys named
Zip
cock
and piss
their teacher went out of the classroom. zip cock and piss decided to be silly. zip went up a shelf
cock went in a cubord and piss messed around normally (writing swear words on the blackboard.) teacher came back and a kid ratted where they were, so she said.
Zip down!
Cock out!!
Piss in the corner!!!

Never Gonna Stay In Your Hotella No More
The Manager
Y. M. C. A. Hotel
LONDON
Roma 28 sept. 1981
Dear signore Direttore, Noew I am tella you story wot I was a-treated at jour hotella.
I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a-younga christian man at your hotella.
When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed - how can I sleep with no shit in my
bed? So I calla down receptione and tella: "I wanta shit" They tella me: "Go to toilet" I say:"No, no I
wanta shit in my bed". They say: "You'd better not shit in your bed, you sonna-wa-bitch". What is
sonna-wa-bitch?
I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and egga and two pissis of toast. I getta only
one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and point at toast: "I wanta piss". She tella me: "Go to toilet". I say:
"No, no I wanta piss on my plate". She then say to me: more...

1. The Drip Piss: It occurs after you have pissed, when you try to get all the remaining drops of urine off the head of your dick, but it just keeps dripping.
2. The H2SO4 Piss: The kind of piss where you haven't had much to drink for days, so the piss is extremely thick, and when it does come out, it burns like sulfuric acid.
3. The Hoover Dam Piss: The kind where you just had a couple of kegs and finished it off with a six-pack, and you feel a need to drain the main vein.
4. The Constipated Piss: The kind where you've been sitting in class all day, and have no time to get to a bathroom, so you wait until you think you're going to pass out, but when you do get to a urinal, your dick won't co-operate, and you're standing around for the next half hour trying to get 10 gallons of fluid out of your bladder.
5. The Piss of Love: It's when you've just had mad passionate sex with a woman who wanted to fuck on cocaine, and when you're done and need to take a piss, your more...

Absent Minded: Opens his vest, pulls out his tie, and pisses in his pants.Clever: Uses no hands, shows off by fixing tie with both hands, looks around for admiration, and sometimes ends up pissing on the floor and onto his shoes.Cross-eyed: Looks into urinal on the left, pisses into the one in the center, and flushes the one on the right.Desperate: Waits in a long time, teeth floating and feet shuffling. Starts to piss as he walks up to urinal but before he can unzip himself. Lets out a long groan and grunt as he finally gets to relieve himself.Disgruntled: Stands for a while, grunts, gives up, and walks away.Drunk: Holds left thumb in right hand and pisses into his pants.Easily induced: Any thought, mention, sight, or slosh of a liquid, from sipping coffee to a runny nose, causes bladder to immediately signal full condition.Efficient: Waits until he has to crap, then does both at once.Erect: Either because his bladder is full or he just saw a sexy woman, his penis is so erect that he more...

one evening a leg was eating a mongoose when a armadilo decided to piss on the mongoose. after long hours of careful anticipation he pissed off and kicked a shoe.the shoe said arnt you a bastad and the leg replied eye i know i am and the moral of the story is if you a leg and you kick shoes and piss on mongooses you are a bastad and you are scotish!

LETTER WRITTEN TO THE MANAGER OF THE Y. M. C. A HOTEL IN LONDON BY A TOURIST
FROM ITALY AFTER HIS RETURN HOME

Roma 29
Sep 1997
The Manager
Y. M. C. A Hotel
LONDON
Dear Signore Direttore

Now I am tella you story wot I was treated at your hotella
I am comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a younga christian
man at your hotella.
When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed-how can I sleep
with no shit in my bed? So I calla down to reception and tella:
"I wanna shit" They tella me: Go to toilet". I say no, I wanta shit in my
bed". They say: You better not shit in your bed, you sonna wa-bitch". What
is sonna wa-bitch?
I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and eggs and two
pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and
point on toast: " I wanta piss". She tells me: "GO to toilet" I more...